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Escort Music Monday: Massive Attack’s ‘Mezzanine’

For about a year and a half every client I saw at the incall (at least for their first few visits—I often forgot they’d seen me before) would get to enjoy a fabulous hour or more with me doing wicked and evil things to them, set to the ambient backdrop of Massive Attack’s ‘Mezzanine’. I think it’s the perfect hooker album—sexy, moody and dirty. Most clients commented positively about it and wanted to know what it was.

The entire album length is just over an hour so it’s perfect to keep track of time without having to set a pesky alarm. Nothing says paid sexy time is OVER like a blaring alarm right before a client blows his load!  With this album I know when the music stops it’s time to get him back in the shower or do something new for the next hour.

Stripper Music Monday: Electric Stripper

Laceandlucite graciously agreed to let us share the stripper mix she made last month. While I cannot stand LMFAO, there’s no arguing that this mix is a good, comprehensive overview of current stripper hits: you’ve got your Adele remix, some dubstep, and ubiquitous songs by Usher and Pitbull. She also adds some lesser-known tracks, like any good DJ. The lovely dancer who made this tape tumbls here and is a quality follow.

Naked Music Monday: Mastodon, “The Motherload”

The ladies I performed with in the new Mastodon video, “The Motherload,” were not all strippers, but I don’t think that matters much to the 800,000-plus viewers that watched the video in the first week. Though those of us who were strippers initially sat in cliques—the girls who knew each other from the same club or girls who had danced with each other in the past—we still exchanged pleasant glances. When the director came in and told us we’d be having a twerk dance battle with dancers we didn’t know, there was a momentary gasp.

This could get ugly.

Stripper Music Monday: Stripper POV Songs

Normally Stripper Music Monday is about music strippers dance to, but today’s features music by actual strippers from a stripper’s point of view. When a lady has her stacks and bought studio time, it’s natural that she’ll sing about what she knows. Here are some of the results.

Stripper Music Monday: Live Band Edition

Bands play at Crazy Girls in L.A., where "Girls Girls Girls" was filmed

Alt-weeklies are always willing to run a strip club feature, using this reliably entertaining subject matter as clickbait. They’ll do stories about labor issues, the food they serve, current legal challenges, and the music they play (yes, that’s me). This year, a couple of alt-weekly strip club stories stuck with me for covering a phenomenon I haven’t personally encountered: Strip clubs serving as live music venues in Miami and Los Angeles.

In the days of Gypsy Rose Lee, striptease was backed by a live band because it was a theatrical performance. Burlesque houses had a house band, not a DJ, to supply the music. As burlesque turned to stripping and theaters to clubs, DJs and jukeboxes became the soundtrack of striptease. It’s a simpler, cheaper way to supply music for a constant parade of dancers on multiple stages.