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    Stripper Music Monday: Sexy Picks For April 1

    By
    Bubbles
    -

    Spring is sprung and so are the customers; once the vernal equinox kicks in, the whole world’s extra horny. So when you’re taking the stage this week, go all out and play these, the sexiest possible songs to strip to. We’ve pulled together the best, can’t-fail, guaranteed to draw customers to the rack picks for your stage sets this week, all of which come from first-or-second-hand experience as actual songs heard in the strip club. Here’s the full playlist on YouTube.

    “That Smell,” Lynyrd Skynyrd

    When the DJ plays this for you, you know you’ve been tipping him great and he’s trying to send the customers a message that they should get up close and personal.

    “She’s Got The Jack,” AC/DC

    You want the customers to know you’re up for a good time!

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    Bad Girls and Killer Queens: Hookers in Pop Music

    By
    Lolo de Sucre
    -
    Freddie Mercury delivering one of his most famous quotes.

    Songwriters seem to love sex workers, no matter how little they may actually know about us. And on a superficial level, we seem like pretty good song material. We’re sexual, illegal, naughty, and easy to desire and pity at the same time. You want to protect us from the dirty men who pay us for sex, yet you secretly still kind of want it for yourself (see “Roxanne,” below).

    Hookers provide instant layers of emotional complexity. Throw one in your song, and viola: an edgy, sexy hit single, depressing and tantalizing all at once. (If you find the hooker-heroine of your song isn’t pitiful enough, just add drugs and that should balance things out.) Charlotte and I sifted through some sex worker songs and rated them, 1-10 based on how obnoxious or pleasing they are to hear if you’re an actual sex worker.

    We’d love to hear from readers too, on what songs make you smile or cringe. Leave your thoughts in the comments.

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    Stripper Music Monday: Electric Stripper

    By
    Bubbles
    -

    Laceandlucite graciously agreed to let us share the stripper mix she made last month. While I cannot stand LMFAO, there’s no arguing that this mix is a good, comprehensive overview of current stripper hits: you’ve got your Adele remix, some dubstep, and ubiquitous songs by Usher and Pitbull. She also adds some lesser-known tracks, like any good DJ. The lovely dancer who made this tape tumbls here and is a quality follow.

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    Stripper Music Monday: Stripper POV Songs

    By
    Bubbles
    -

    Normally Stripper Music Monday is about music strippers dance to, but today’s features music by actual strippers from a stripper’s point of view. When a lady has her stacks and bought studio time, it’s natural that she’ll sing about what she knows. Here are some of the results.

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    Naked Music Monday: “What A Way To Make A Living”

    By
    Johanna
    -
    image via The Gloss
    image via The Gloss

    Hooking is  definitely one of the better jobs I’ve had, but it’s still a job, and sometimes it gets me down. A slow week, a jerk client, a particularly gross newspaper article, being outed by a friend—it can be hard to keep your spirits up and your head in the money-making mindset amid all that noise. At those times, I like to take refuge in quality pop music and pithy political analysis. These songs combine both.

    Dolly Parton, “9 to 5”

    We all gotta work, and Dolly Parton (my hero) has always been pretty savvy about using what she’s got to get ahead. She also knows it’s not easy, and she never sugar-coats it either. If there’s a catchier, more incisive pop song about working women negotiating capitalism’s daily grind, I want to hear about it (I mean that, please tell me about it, I love that shit). This song never fails to perk me up before a particularly dire day or night of work. Whichever 9 to 5 you work, Dolly is there for you.


    Salt-n-Pepa, “None of Your Business”

    “Opinions are like assholes and everybody’s got one”.

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