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Two New Videos Featuring Strippers

This week Tyga comes through and supports single moms on the day shift and Nicki Minaj visits a strip club where every day is New Year’s Eve.

The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time: Second Round

stripperballThanks to everyone who voted in the first round through the weekend! The field is down to 32 songs, and if you want to jump straight to the results, here is the bracket with the first round winners. Here is a Spotify playlist. Let’s move on to the second round, where you’ll cast your votes to decide who moves on into the Sweet Sixteen. Voting is open until 12am PST Thursday and the next round will be announced Thursday morning. Voting is open to everyone.

The Rock bracket had disappointing showings for “Black No. 1” and “Walk,” but I was impressed that everyone hates Nickelback SO MUCH that you knocked out the #2 seed right at the start. The second round matchup to watch? “Prison Sex” vs “Crazy Bitch.” Who will come out ahead? The durable goth/metal 90s hit or the deathless, awful Buckcherry anthem? If your unsurprising rock votes are any predictor, I’m going with Buckcherry. It’s like choosing between Sweatpants Boner Man and Guy With Shit Breath.

The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time: Hip Hop/R&B and Dance/Pop Regions

It’s too bad that the Rick’s Stripper Basketball League never actually happened.

Our contribution to March Madness is this quest to determine The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time. The four regions are Rock, Dance and Pop, Hip Hop and R&B, and Classics. The songs, just like the teams in the NCAA tournament, are seeded 1-16. Here is the full bracket.

You will decide the winner. Voting is open to all, starting with the opening rounds today. If you somehow aren’t familiar with any of these songs, here is a Spotify playlist that has nearly all of them (save the Harry Pussy placeholder since Prince’s “Pussy Control” isn’t available).

Today we’ll start with the Hip Hop/R&B region. You’ll notice it’s probably the toughest region to get out of, loaded as it is with sex jams and make it rain anthems. The 1 seed is Ginuwine’s “Pony,” of course, but it was a tough call as Fat Joe and Lil Wayne essentially defined current strip club imagery with “Make It Rain.”

I’m just a bachelor who made one of the best R&B stripper jams of all time.

Stripper Music Monday: Porcelain Raft, “The Way Out”

thewayoutA friend sent me this video last week, rightly pegging it as relevant to my interests. The song is “The Way Out” by Porcelain Raft, the performing name of multi-instrumentalist Mauro Remiddi. It is expansive and atmospheric electronic pop that might be a little too downbeat for a packed club but, as in the video, a perfect track for a quiet afternoon shift. The video stars a very capable pole dancer, employs an elegant one-shot format, and has a subdued mood. It’s more Exotica than Showgirls. Its events threatened to upset me, but the story has a satisfyingly dark conclusion. I reached out to director Michael Lawrence to ask him about his process. Watch the video and read our Q&A below.

Escort Music Monday: Ambient Incall Songs

As we’ve learned from the titillating weekly edition of “Stripper Music Monday,” music plays a big part in setting a vibe which endears clients/customers to us and encourages them to open their pockets. As an escort, it’s important to me to have an ambient yet modern soundtrack to the experience at hand, and I get positive feedback on my playlist quite often, that which I play in the background during my appointments. When the music is good, the mood is more likely to be good, thereby putting clients more at ease. I also find that when a client recognizes even one song, he feels safer (though at the same time, diggin’ on music he’s never heard before can be intellectually stimulating). So recently I had a music buff client ask me to send him the contents of my playlist (cuz it’s that good), and I was inspired to share it here with you all as well, since I know I’m always on the hunt for new additions to my repertoire.