Dear Tits and Sass

image via flickr user x-ray delta one

image via flickr user x-ray delta one

Editors’ Note: Today’s Dear Tits and Sass is unexpectedly timely considering recent events in Washington, D.C. Anonymous tweeter @NatSecWonk was outed as White House employee Jofi Joseph and summarily fired. But he didn’t have just one anonymous Twitter handle; it looks as though he is also behind @dchobbyist, the epitome of the worst kind of client, one who seeks to rank women numerically on TER while describing every perceived flaw in detail and considers haggling over price to be a point of pride. It seems only right that the kind of hubris it would take to think you could get away with an anon account from the White House would come from a “hobbyist.” So! On to our own national security questions.

Dear Tits and Sass,

Could you do a post expanding on a topic brought up by one of the articles you included in the Week in Links for September 27, about whether sex work (in that case, stripping) can keep someone from getting a security clearance? The article was great, but it leaves me with some questions especially because of the fact that stripping is legal, but other kinds of sex work are not. In general I’d love to hear any additional perspective that you guys can dig up.

I’m sure I’m not the only one out there worrying about this, but there are very few places that this kind of question can be asked, so I thank you sincerely for considering this as a post topic.

Best,
A [READ MORE]

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wrt

Image from LasVegasLawBlog

Dear Tits and Sass,

I have been a sex worker for about nine years now, in a variety of capacities.  The past three years I’ve lived and worked as an upscale independent escort in a several different cities. I have regulars in three cities, a website, and a mailing list with about 800 people on it. This fall I’m starting school, working towards a professional degree (in a city where I have never worked). I am trying to come up with the best plan for resigning from the business, while keeping the door open to work again if I need to or want to. The risk-benefit analysis favors very heavily on the side of completely quitting and trying as much as possible to erase all evidence of ever having existed (taking down my website, delisting off TER, deleting my gmail account, etc.). In fact, I have become even more paranoid than I used to be about screening, because if something negative should happen now I would likely lose my ability to pursue the professional degree I’m after and have to keep doing sex work (I’m feeling burnt out and ready to move on) until I came up with another plan. But part of me fears losing this business I spent so much time building, in case I should need it (with an already established good reputation) in the future. I also wish to keep the ability to call on my regulars, so as to work without advertising (if I want to)—and I don’t want them to know where I’m going to school or even what city I’m moving to. And, to some extent most relevantly, I want to make as absolutely much money as possible before I retire my online presence (as much as possible, given the number of “stolen” ads of mine that are floating out there) in August. What are the best tips and tricks for getting the most cash out of retirement, and then disappearing off the face of the internet, without burning all my bridges?
Sincerely,
Goodbye To All That [READ MORE]

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Image via Business Week

Image via Business Week

Dear Tits and Sass,

I’ve been an escort for 3 years now. I’ve painstakingly built up a great brand that is original and true to my personality, I update my website regularly with new text and pictures, I keep my blog relatively up to date. I advertise on four different sites (3 local, 1 national.) I have completely plateaued in my business, and I have no idea what else to do. I have a local core of clientele but lets face it, it’s not paying the bills. How do I shake out of this hooker slump? Is it just time to pack it in?

Sincerely,

Down in the Slumps

Alice: There’s no need to pack it in unless you really want to. You’ve got options!  It’s great that you’re keeping your website up to date, and that’s probably a piece of what’s keeping your core group around. The trick, though, is getting new clients to get to your website via your ads. Since you advertise on multiple sites in your local market, try diversifying your ads with different photos and approaches on each and keep them as fresh and updated as you do your website. It might seem counterintuitive, but taking an ad down for a while can give your business a boost, especially if you’ve been advertising on the same sites for the majority of your career.  [READ MORE]

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Image via Sassyology

Image via Sassyology

Dear Tits and Sass,

I need help breaking up with a long time client. He is a very sweet guy and if I were to describe our dates (lots of time out in public: dinners, shows, etc.) it would sound like a pretty cushy gig. The problem is that I find being physical with him deeply, deeply repulsive. Not like I’m so hot for my other clients, but it’s a real challenge with this guy. I regularly find myself closing my eyes and trying to breathe without letting *any* expression cross my face—forget about me faking pleasure, I’m merely hoping to not betray my urge to run. Let me stress that he is not abusive or demanding, and he doesn’t hurt me.

I feel like he’s usually aware that I’m hating every second we’re naked together, but he’s so taken with me he lets it slide. The last time we did an overnight together, I dreamed about screaming at him that he was horrible and I never wanted to see him again. He’s not horrible, but I can’t talk my body out of feeling completely miserable during sex with him. We’ve known each other for over a year now, seen each other for long dates at least 15 times, and I have no idea how to break it off. I can’t pretend I’m retiring, and I don’t want to take down the overnight option from my website. (Seeing him for a short period of time won’t really help anyway; I’ve tried, and it still sucks.) But I’ve got to do something because in the days in advance of seeing him, I start feeling really sad and panicked. I don’t think it’s healthy for me to see him anymore, no matter how much money is at stake. Please help!

Sincerely,
SMS (Save My Sanity) 

[READ MORE]

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One way to convince your parents stripping might work out

One way to convince your parents stripping might work out

Hello Tits and Sass,

I am a dancer in Canada and have been reading your great blog for over a year; I have also had the recent experience of being outed to my parents a couple of days ago. I have only just turned 20 so I haven’t moved out yet and am extremely mixed up about how to deal with the situation calmly. I am cut off from any coworkers for a few days (so I have no women who understand my perspective to ask advice from) and my parents are attempting to take control and make me quit (which I have no desire to comply with, I have been stripping for a year and am happy). If anyone has any words of wisdom, a post about the topic would greatly be appreciated.

Best regards, Claire [READ MORE]

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