I’m an independent escort suddenly finding herself in transition after advertising on Backpage for a couple of years. I’ve been pretty successful with it all this time, but that world has its obvious financial and professional limitations, and I’d like to surpass them. It’s become clear to me as of late that it’s time for me to move on; I’m just not sure where!
Ideally, I want to SEO the shit out of my website and operate independently from it, but it still needs work, so it doesn’t currently serve me as a major asset. In the meantime, I am curious about alternatives that are similar to Backpage’s style but do without so much…notoriety. Cityvibe looks even worse, and Eros has not worked great for me in the past. I live in a small, popular city in my region, but it is not a major one, so I wonder how much traffic any other escort ad sites even receive here. Might you have any suggestions about advertising mediums/strategies? Are all of these sites pretty much the same?
One way to convince your parents stripping might work out
Hello Tits and Sass,
I am a dancer in Canada and have been reading your great blog for over a year; I have also had the recent experience of being outed to my parents a couple of days ago. I have only just turned 20 so I haven’t moved out yet and am extremely mixed up about how to deal with the situation calmly. I am cut off from any coworkers for a few days (so I have no women who understand my perspective to ask advice from) and my parents are attempting to take control and make me quit (which I have no desire to comply with, I have been stripping for a year and am happy). If anyone has any words of wisdom, a post about the topic would greatly be appreciated.
Editors’ Note: Today’s Dear Tits and Sass is unexpectedly timely considering recent events in Washington, D.C. Anonymous tweeter @NatSecWonk was outed as White House employee Jofi Joseph and summarily fired. But he didn’t have just one anonymous Twitter handle; it looks as though he is also behind @dchobbyist, the epitome of the worst kind of client, one who seeks to rank women numerically on TER while describing every perceived flaw in detail and considers haggling over price to be a point of pride. It seems only right that the kind of hubris it would take to think you could get away with an anon account from the White House would come from a “hobbyist.” So! On to our own national security questions.
Dear Tits and Sass,
Could you do a post expanding on a topic brought up by one of the articles you included in the Week in Links for September 27, about whether sex work (in that case, stripping) can keep someone from getting a security clearance? The article was great, but it leaves me with some questions especially because of the fact that stripping is legal, but other kinds of sex work are not. In general I’d love to hear any additional perspective that you guys can dig up.
I’m sure I’m not the only one out there worrying about this, but there are very few places that this kind of question can be asked, so I thank you sincerely for considering this as a post topic.
I’m a pro domme who also sometimes does full-service work. My partner of seven years and I are thinking about trying for a kid, but I’m worried about the custody issues that might come up because of what I do for work if he and I were ever to split up, or if I got arrested, or if anything else went wrong. I trust my boyfriend, and I don’t anticipate our stable relationship breaking up anytime soon, but you never know. He’s a white collar professional, while I’ve never held a straight job: I know which one of us would look better in court. What should sex workers with children know about child protective services and how best to keep their kids?
When you just really need to get away from this guy.
Dear Tits and Sass,
I am an escort in Calgary, Canada and am desperately looking online for some help. I’ve been escorting for a year now and throughout the year I feel I’ve gone through some serious turmoil, and want to get out.
Particularly, throughout my journey almost right away I [met] a sugar daddy and we have had an arrangement for pretty much the whole time I’ve been escorting. Of course, he was very generous with his money in the beginning. Then it turned into an arrangement and everything was still fine and reasonable. As time went by and boundaries got crossed, I have now shared so much personal information with him and started to develop feelings in a weird way. He obviously doesn’t feel the same, as he is married, but he does use manipulation tactics to keep me interested by almost promising some sort of false hope that we will get married and live happily ever after (he doesn’t say it that way, but he gives subtle implications).
Aside from the emotions, though, he has become my top client as he provides the most income for me. However, during this time, I feel I have put up with so much emotional drainage and despair. He has manipulated me and treated me so poorly (mentally). He stays at my place for hours and expects me to text and entertain him when he’s not around. Escorting also became a problem to him at one point too. So it’s like I just can’t win and make him happy. Plus, I have to be so honest with him [about] my personal life on top of that and it’s just draining.
Long story short, I just don’t think I can handle it anymore, but I don’t know what to do. I am so scared to cut him off as I’ve been (in some ways) more comfortable seeing fewer clients due to having him as a source of income, although he consumes so much of my time and demands [so much of] it. Plus, he always thinks I’m lying to him about my “feelings” towards him and always wants me to prove it. I’m just exhausted. I’m starting to wonder if it would be better to just cut him off and go back to seeing more clients again. At what point do you end it with a client, even though I have become dependent on him? I realize as time goes by it’s just going to get worse and worse. How can I change this dynamic again? I barely have enough time for school, and I feel it’s almost like he doesn’t agree with me being in school, which is why I started escorting in the first place (to pay debt, etc.). How can I fix this mess I got myself in? I just want to be normal. Please, I’m crying for help,
Dear Tits & Sass,
