Dogs & Dollars
Someone had a good night at the Rhino! @veggiepoof let her recently adopted shelter dog Schatzi roll in the spoils.
Sex workers, send us your pictures of your dogs and dollars or cats and stacks at info@titsandsass.com
Spending On Your Big Spender: Holiday Gifts For Clients
What can you get the man who already has the best gift—your sexual talents—of them all? Here are a few suggestions from the T&S gang. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
The Magic City 2012 Calendar: What a great gift for the stripper enthusiast in your life. Magic City is home to some of the country’s most beautiful and athletic performers, and this calendar is sure to bring joy to its recipient on a daily basis.—Bubbles
The Pillow Tie: You blow it up and use it like a pillow. This is basically giving the gift of swag. Anyone who doesn’t appreciate what an ingenious innovation this is doesn’t deserve to be my customer. —Kat
Your Time: An escort friend of mine has lunch for free with her biggest spender on holidays and his birthday. She’s usually super-strict about her time, so giving him an hour or two for free makes a good impression on him. — Lolo
Being Nice to the Professionally Naughty: Holiday Gifts for Sex Workers
Having trouble stuffing the sexiest stockings on your Christmas list? We’re here to help by sharing with you items both useful and fanciful on our collective wishlists.
Vagina Dentata Glow-in-the-Dark Underwear: I’d be so thrilled to see someone wear these at the club. How many customers would even notice? These would be perfect to wear while dancing to Lady Gaga’s “Teeth.” —Bubbles
James Deen: for a few hours, no cameras allowed. — Charlotte
Spa Services: Even if your favorite sex worker is not a girly girl who keeps regular professional hair/nail appointments, there isn’t anyone among us who wouldn’t like a good massage. Gift certificates to a quality spa are a no-lose gift idea.—Bubbles
Stripper Music Monday: Christmas Songs
Working the company Christmas party is inevitable when you work a lot during the holiday season. You may have to suffer Frederick’s Christmas lingerie and jokes about Santa’s lap, but don’t put up with your DJ’s Christmas song collection. If it consists solely of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You” (or, God forbid, the reboot with Justin Bieber) and AC/DC’s “Mistress for Christmas,” pull out these tracks for a change of pace.
Merry Christmas! May your stockings be stuffed with large bills.
Lloyd, “She’s All I Want For Christmas”
Kat’s 2011 Top 10 Stupid Headlines About Sex Work
10. Missouri Supreme Court to Strip Club Owners: “Tough Titties” Judges are always talking about boobs and shit. This is actually a big deal but who can resist a good pun, right? Sleaze To Meet You, too, journalists. I hate to break it to you, but you guys have been using the same puns to write about sex work since the beginning of time.
9. Park Slope Adderall Ring Nets Stripper-Turned-Med Student / Bank Robbing Stripper And Brothers Caught After Car Chase, Gun Battle At what point do we get to be thought of as simply daughters, sisters, mothers, lovers, adderall-traffickers and bank robbers? Seriously, how does stripping still trump crime sprees? Why don’t we get to hear where the stripper’s loser brothers worked? I bet their employment histories would be interesting.
8. Mother Who Turns Her Life Around After Stripping Dies in Wreck See number 9.
7. How To Kiss A Stripper Without Getting Burned We haven’t had the energy to respond every time Complex used content about sex work to get traffic this year, although we did here and here. (Want to be more irritated? You’re welcome.) This was a bad one though. Yes, watch out for those complimentary French kisses that come with every lapdance. If you want to know how Herpes simplex originated, imagine a Contagion-style montage that leads back to a stripper locking lips with a monkey who then gestures that he left his wallet in his other vest and gets kicked out by the bouncers.