What can you get the man who already has the best gift—your sexual talents—of them all? Here are a few suggestions from the T&S gang. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
The Magic City 2012 Calendar: What a great gift for the stripper enthusiast in your life. Magic City is home to some of the country’s most beautiful and athletic performers, and this calendar is sure to bring joy to its recipient on a daily basis.—Bubbles
The Pillow Tie: You blow it up and use it like a pillow. This is basically giving the gift of swag. Anyone who doesn’t appreciate what an ingenious innovation this is doesn’t deserve to be my customer. —Kat
Your Time: An escort friend of mine has lunch for free with her biggest spender on holidays and his birthday. She’s usually super-strict about her time, so giving him an hour or two for free makes a good impression on him. — Lolo
Custom fit condoms: For the special penises in your life, consider this new line of fitted condoms. TheyFit has more than 90 different sizes! You even get a special measuring kit to determine the exact style to order. —Suzy
A Photo: During my most recent photo shoot I had my photographer take an extra pic that I knew I wouldn’t use for advertising, just to give to my most devoted regular. I wore lingerie that he had bought me and struck a pose (with my face hidden) that I knew he particularly liked. Later I got it framed and gave it to him as a gift. —Lolo
A Copy of The Captain’s Verses, by Pablo Neruda: I’ve given this book to a few of my more sentimental customers. It’s romantic, sexy and not too intellectual. Plus, poetry in translation makes ya look smart ‘n’ classy. —Catherine
Homemade treats: What’s nicer than a delicious box of cookies or candy made by a pretty girl? If you have a customer with a sweet tooth, he’ll be touched by your personal gift. —Bubbles
Cookbooks: If your client has ever taken you to a fancy restaurant that’s released its own cookbook, buying him a copy of it will let him know how much you appreciated it.
If not, it’s still a classy gift that’s affordable and practical. It’s easy to justify if his wife ever finds it, since it’s something he could have reasonably bought for himself. It’s also a nice way to hint at a place you’d like to visit some day. French Laundry, Eleven Madison Park, Chez Panisse, and Michael Mina are a few ideas. —Lolo
A long bet on his baseball team: If you’re in Nevada or Atlantic City, get to your local sports book and put $20 down on his favorite baseball team to win the 2012 World Series. It’ll add extra excitement to the season for him (ignore this if he’s a Mets fan; he’ll just think you’re being snarky). —Bubbles
A Collar: If you have an especially devoted and deserving sub, he’ll be honored to serve you in a pretty color you picked out yourself. If he’s been a really good boy this year, reward him with a custom-made creation from Collar Factory. —Lolo
An (emailed) iTunes gift certificate: Ok, yeah, gift certificates are not an overwhelmingly original purchase. But the pros of this are 1) it’s discreet. His wife is not going to find it lying around and say “who got you this?!” 2) He can choose what he really wants, though if you’re feeling extra thoughtful you can make some suggestions of albums or songs that you love; and 3) you can enjoy it together when he puts whatever he downloaded on during your next get together. Just make sure your iTunes username doesn’t give away any personal details that you don’t want him to know, like your real name. —Charlotte