10. Missouri Supreme Court to Strip Club Owners: “Tough Titties” Judges are always talking about boobs and shit. This is actually a big deal but who can resist a good pun, right? Sleaze To Meet You, too, journalists. I hate to break it to you, but you guys have been using the same puns to write about sex work since the beginning of time.
9. Park Slope Adderall Ring Nets Stripper-Turned-Med Student / Bank Robbing Stripper And Brothers Caught After Car Chase, Gun Battle At what point do we get to be thought of as simply daughters, sisters, mothers, lovers, adderall-traffickers and bank robbers? Seriously, how does stripping still trump crime sprees? Why don’t we get to hear where the stripper’s loser brothers worked? I bet their employment histories would be interesting.
8. Mother Who Turns Her Life Around After Stripping Dies in Wreck See number 9.
7. How To Kiss A Stripper Without Getting Burned We haven’t had the energy to respond every time Complex used content about sex work to get traffic this year, although we did here and here. (Want to be more irritated? You’re welcome.) This was a bad one though. Yes, watch out for those complimentary French kisses that come with every lapdance. If you want to know how Herpes simplex originated, imagine a Contagion-style montage that leads back to a stripper locking lips with a monkey who then gestures that he left his wallet in his other vest and gets kicked out by the bouncers.
6. “A fleet of prostitutes had touched down.” This isn’t a headline, but I believe in giving credit where it’s due.
5. Prostitutes Go Wild Over Fake Money This one just kinda bugged me. Besides Rich “Uncle” Pennybags, who wouldn’t “go wild” if they were paid in fake money?
4. Strip Club’s Food Fails To Wow “The only complaint about the staff would be their overall flippant attitude toward attire. Several waitresses dressed unprofessionally, and some overtly flaunted their sexuality in an attempt to garner tips.” LOL. Sorry dude, but you’re not the first person to complain about the food and the fact that you were approached by strippers in a strip club (cough and cough).
3. Every article about sex work from the New York Post ever “Hooker this, hooker that.” —The NY Post
2. Idiot Prosti-Teacher Didn’t Learn Lesson I’m not done talking about the NY Post. From the paper who brought us “mammary mecca” and that strange hooker underwear analogy, I present you with the headline that is so fucked-up that I can’t believe it’s real (but can).
1. Nichole Bailey’s life was a string of bad choices that ended with her murder in a weed-filled ditch in southeast Houston In case anyone was wondering why we need December 17th.