When I first came out in print as a sex worker, it was pretty much decided by everyone that I was an idiot. That, or an opportunist and/or an attention whore—a fact one feminist blog called “disgusting.” In the comments sections of articles I have written, it is widely accepted that no one would pay to have sex with me and that I ought to shut the fuck up. I am frequently accused of making it all up. I’ve been insulted and undermined in every way and yet, amidst the hate mail, the most damaging criticism I’ve ever received came not from a New York Post reader or even a radical feminist (although I got hate mail from them, too) but from another advocate, a sex worker, someone I knew.
“Hi Melissa:
I hope you’re well. I read your Salon.com article. I appreciate that you’re sharing your story and advocating for sex workers’ rights. And I sympathize with your struggles.
I want to share a concern with you. In this article you make a statement about sex work, particularly prostitution being work that relies on dishonesty. In [an article published on Huffington Post] you similarly made a statement that the industry is “soul bankrupting.”
I can see how this may have been true for you, but it’s certainly not the case for all of us. For someone who is out of the business I can see how these statements would seem harmless. But for those of us still working, these are exactly the concepts that we’re trying hard to dismantle—the idea that we are somehow emotionally or intellectually compromised because we do this work.
I would never ask you not to speak your own truth. But I do think it would be helpful if these statements were framed in such a way that it’s clear this was only your experience, and not broad-sweeping truths about the business. Many of us come to this work honestly and operate from a place of truth and compassion. We deserve respect for this work. It’s problematic for an “expert” to portray us as liars with bankrupted souls. It’s especially hurtful when a colleague who presents herself as a dedicated advocate takes this stance.
Kat and I have both danced at the club where this video was filmed, Stars Cabaret in Bend, OR, which is the only reason I watched this video all the way through. That and I was expecting a funny kicker that never came. I would recommend that you hit the mute button or listen to another song while you watch this video if the words “singer-songwriter from British Columbia” make you nod off, but it’s your call.
The St. James Infirmary, a San Francisco clinic that specifically treats the sex worker community, is having an online fundraiser this afternoon. If you’re not familiar with the clinic, it’s been around since 1999 and offers sex workers vital health services in an understanding, non-judgmental environment, in addition to fighting for our acceptance in the mainstream.
Starting at 3 pm EST, you can visit their chat room over the following 12 hours for a conversation on sex worker rights and the work of the clinic, led by Feminist Whore and a crew of other sex work activists. At 6 pm, Norma Jean Almodovar, author of Cop to Call Girl, will also join them for an online interview.
Spread the word to your co-workers, allies and customers!
Also in Illinois, local Catholic nuns are angry about a new strip club that will soon open in a suburban neighborhood near their convent. The club developer, Bob Itzkow, has called the nuns “our non-tax-paying neighbors,” and requested that “you treat us as we have treated you, by not trying to unduly disturb us by imposing your religious beliefs on us or others.”
Swiss fragrance company Givaudan is working on