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Annoying Customer Arrested

If you work in a strip club, you’ve seen your share of drunk female customers who think every night is amateur night. Sometimes they just try to give their dates a lapdance, and sometimes they jump on stage for an awkward spin around the pole. Clubs handle this in wildly varying ways, from wholehearted encouragement in places where dancers pull them up on stage from the tip rail to booting them out of the door at the earliest onset of Pay Attention to ME Syndrome.

Arrest is pretty uncommon, though! This story out of Clearwater, FL will warm the heart of any dancer who’s had to deal with a bad bachelorette party:

Smell Ya Later: Pheromone Perfume in the Strip Club

When it comes to perfume at the strip club, most strippers usually fall into one of two camps. There’s the Calgon body spray I’m-not-even-going-to-try types, and then there are those who swear by their Pink Sugar/Kim Kardashian/Viva La Juicy I-can’t-believe-she-stole-my-signature-scent-even-though-it’s-readily-available-at-Nordstrom variety. Really, an exotic dancer’s fragrance need only be subtle enough not to give her customers away as soon as they step through their front doors.

Or could a perfume be subtle enough to prey upon a man’s animal instincts and rake in a ton of cash as a result? Pheromone lotions, perfumes, and massage oil are readily available now; even Paris Hilton’s signature scent boasts a special secret pheromone ingredient. What if we can spend less time chatting up customers and let them follow their noses to the champagne room instead? Is this pseudoscience or a viable way to start earning more? Kat and Catherine decided to leave off the cucumber melon for a few weeks in order to test this craze out. You really couldn’t ask for a better environment to experiment on unsuspecting male subjects than the strip club.

Why I Hate Pretty Woman (1990)

So, my apologies for showing up a little late to the Pretty Woman threesome. I hadn’t realized how painful it would be to watch this movie again, and so I had to take it in small bites over the course of the week.

I had already been a hooker for a couple years before I ever saw Pretty Woman  a few months ago. Even before I had seen it though, I’d casually reference it all the time with my friends when we’d make fun of tricks who thought they could be our boyfriends. Yes, I know this happens in real life, and even has happened to a couple of my friends. But it’s never come even close to happening to me, especially not with the kind of guys who’d be into “saving” me.

My boyfriend finally made me watch it one day several months ago, and I was even more grossed out than I had expected.

The film’s one saving grace: Julia Roberts is incredibly, uniquely beautiful. It somewhat mitigates the torture of listening to her slip in and out of an unplaceable generic “tough girl” accent (doesn’t Vivian say once she’s from Georgia? doesn’t sound like it…) and a super lame script. (By the way, drooling over Sasha Grey was the most redeemable part of The Girlfriend Experience, too.)

Some of the things that make me cringe, roll my eyes, or just say “huh?”:

The Weekly Unwrap

He usually wears shirts on his dates.

Enjoy our Richard Gere birthday extravaganza: Bettie on why she can’t stand Pretty Woman, Charlotte on why she loves it and on Gere in American Gigolo.

Some thoughts on sustainable sex work.

What will happen in the case of the New Mexico judge accused of raping a prostitute?

Oh, thank goodness. Ne-Yo recorded a song called “Strip Club.”

FetLife cracks a bad hooker joke.

Another in the never-ending series of strip club tourist reports, this one from London.

The Week in Links: September 2

via http://strippertweets.tumblr.com/

A performer in porn films tested positive for HIV this week in Los Angeles, prompting a temporary halt to film production. The HIV scare in the porn industry is also fodder for further discussion on mandated condom use for performers.

An English high school teacher and sex worker was found guilty of “unacceptable professional conduct” after his students found an online trailer for his porn film. He was allowed to keep his job under the condition he quit sex work.

A U.S. commission recently uncovered the truth that thousands of sex workers, prisoners, and psychatric patients in Guatemala were knowingly infected with Syphilis during the 1940’s in the name of research by doctors from the U.S. and Guatemala.