Just as the rallying cry of men defending themselves from those mean, mean feminists seems to be, “Not ALL men!” so does the sex work client object to generalizations about him. In fact, the one thing all sex work clients have in common is that they all think they’re different, special, and not like those other guys. So, when they throw out that tired line you’ve been hearing ever since you started working, they think they’re being clever. We asked escorts, street workers, strippers, pro-dommes, cam-people, and phone sex operators to get on Twitter on #notallclients and tell us all about it.
Hey, sex workers, we know what #notallmen do. What about #notallclients? “You seem smarter than this!” “Wish I’d met you somewhere else.”
— Tits and Sass (@titsandsass) May 12, 2014
Sex workers, what are your #notallcustomers /#notallclients /#notallhobbyists moments? #notallmen — Josephine (@thstrpprhtsu) May 12, 2014
Not all clients make totally hilarious observations about our body parts.
*guy points at natural DDs* “I hope you aren’t thinking about getting those done” #notallclients #seriouslyalotofclients
— Susan E. Shepard (@SusanElizabeth) May 12, 2014
“Your body is perfect… I would love to buy you some tits.” #notallclients — hot & heavy (@butt_texts) May 13, 2014
@titsandsass “I really hope you don’t get rid of *it*. It’d be such a shame.” #notallclients — Amelia Rebelle (@ameliasabine) May 12, 2014
Not all clients ask off-color, invasive questions.
so…what are you? #notallclients — moonpie (@tainx_) May 12, 2014
“I bet you put up with so many jerks. Hey how did you get that scar/ are you bisexual/ did your parents spank you?” #notallclients — Quirky Adorkable (@LoriAdorable) May 12, 2014
Not all clients pressure us to go condom-less.
[condom gets misplaced from overeager thrusting] “We might as well finish without one, right? Aren’t you clean?” #notallclients — Merry Miss Lissie (@MerryMissLissie) May 12, 2014
“How much for bareback?” Uhhh, how about all my medical bills for the rest of my life? #notallclients — marginalutilite (@marginalutilite) May 12, 2014
Not all clients are totally deluded about what our work is and isn’t.
“Would you like to meet up for drinks after you are done work?” You *are* my work lol #notallclients @titsandsass — Naomi (@kwetoday) May 12, 2014
“Some of the girls I’ve been seeing for a while stop charging me.” #notallclients — Victoria Eva B. (@BeauvoirFetish) May 12, 2014
“Oh I have to pay for your time during dinner too?” #notallclients — Sugar Kane (@SugarKovalczyk) May 13, 2014
Not all clients would risk life and limb to get just a little more mileage.
“If I tip the security gaurd, will he let us do whatever we want?” *Assuming I would if he did/there weren’t rules* #notallclients — ▲ Naøize (@Naoize) May 12, 2014
“So what do I GET if I do a champagne room? Heh heh”. #notallclients — Sidvicious (@nud3doll) May 12, 2014
“I just came out of a champagne room with another girl, it was such a disappointment, I should have taken you instead.” #notallclients — Sidvicious (@nud3doll) May 12, 2014
“But no one will know! Just let me lick/touch it!” #notallclients — red (@PennyRedful) May 12, 2014
“what if you gave me your personal number and we saw each other privately?” #notallclients — home by seven (@homeby7) May 12, 2014
@titsandsass “I know you SAY you’re a top…but you’ll bottom to me, right?” #notallclients #dommeproblems — Becki LeBeau (@BeckiLeBeau) May 12, 2014
Not all clients are totally oblivious to the legal repercussions of their requests.
*In criminalized country, over phone* “So what do & don’t you do?” #notallclients — marginalutilite (@marginalutilite) May 12, 2014
“I don’t want to give you my information. I mean, you could call my wife or something.” #notallclients — Valentina Voluptua (@ValentinaTexas) May 12, 2014
“I can’t give you my screening info because I am VERY important + have no perspective as to what YOU risk” #notallclients — Quirky Adorkable (@LoriAdorable) May 12, 2014
Not all clients think they’re sex-on-wheels.
Believe it or not, I do have better things to do than to got to movies “for free” with 78 year old men drowning in AquaVelva #notallclients — Valentina Voluptua (@ValentinaTexas) May 12, 2014
Not all clients think they’re entitled to a discount.
“Perhaps once we get to know each other better you’ll charge me less” #notallclients — ✧♡ Whorebrows ♡✧ (@Miss_Whorebrows) May 12, 2014
“But come on I’m young/good looking/work out/have ‘big feet’ and I know you’ll enjoy it..I shouldn’t have to pay!” #notallclients — Jane Doe (@iamseennotheard) May 13, 2014
“Why don’t you have 30 min rates?” “I only have $ (not enough), what can I get for that?” #notallclients — Miss Park (@blk_bk) May 13, 2014
Not all clients are full of helpful advice for us.
“You would make more money at the other club.” #notallclients #notallmen #notallhobbyists #notallmen — Josephine (@thstrpprhtsu) May 12, 2014
Somesuch bullshit dressed up as advice because he’s met 2 escorts and is now a world authority #notallclients — Minxy Lydia (@Minxy_Lydia) May 13, 2014
“You’d make more money if you’d do something/give us a sample/take off your top.” -guy who has never tipped #cammodelproblems #notallclients — Twisted Fister (@RaavynnDigital) May 12, 2014
Not all clients are confused by the fact that we’re, uh, sentient.
@titsandsass “U passed ur thesis defense w/ minimal revisions? You’d have passed w/ NO revisions if you’d worn a low-cut top” #notallclients — Celine Bisette (@celinebisette) May 12, 2014
“I am happy you are in school and going somewhere. Not like the other ones.” Fuck off asshole! #notallclients @titsandsass — Naomi (@kwetoday) May 12, 2014
“You seem SO articulate.” Like a dog standing on its hind legs–not that it is done well, but that it is done at all. #notallclients — marginalutilite (@marginalutilite) May 12, 2014
“wow, you have a big vocabulary (for a…)” #notallclients — Eden P (@EdenPrairie13) May 13, 2014
Not all clients compensate for their insecurities on the review boards.
His Reviews-“I raw dogged her until she imploded.” Real Life: Is a shaky 75 yr old twill wearing dude with a cane #notallclients — Valentina Voluptua (@ValentinaTexas) May 12, 2014
in person: awkward and anxious; review board: “she was an insatiable slut” #notallclients — home by seven (@homeby7) May 12, 2014
Not all clients make assumptions about our personal lives.
I don’t suppose you have a boyfriend doing this (with sad face) #notallclients — Minxy Lydia (@Minxy_Lydia) May 12, 2014
“You have a male roommate? You fuck him?” No. “Bring him on cam” No. #notallclients #cammodelproblems — Ophelia Black (@_OpheliaBlack) May 13, 2014
“If I were your man I’d be fucking you instead of sitting in the other room.” #cammodelproblems #notallclients — Twisted Fister (@RaavynnDigital) May 12, 2014
Maybe bugging your partner at work is why you’re single, man. #notallclients — Twisted Fister (@RaavynnDigital) May 12, 2014
Not all clients tell the same story about their wives.
*insert client speech about how the client’s wife doesn’t do any of the things you offer as services in the bedroom anymore* #notallclients
— ✧♡ Whorebrows ♡✧ (@Miss_Whorebrows) May 12, 2014
I love my wife but… #notallclients — Minxy Lydia (@Minxy_Lydia) May 12, 2014
“So I just got out of a messy divorce…” #notallclients
— marginalutilite (@marginalutilite) May 13, 2014
Not all clients think we’ve gotten rich doing this.
“You don’t need a dance from me, you probably make a thousand a night!” #notallclients — Sidvicious (@nud3doll) May 12, 2014
“You must make SO much money!” *is the only client I’ve seen all week* #notallclients — Quirky Adorkable (@LoriAdorable) May 12, 2014
“You’re doing pretty good tonight? Do I really need to tip? You know me?” #notallclients — ▲ Naøize (@Naoize) May 12, 2014
“I bet you don’t pay taxes.” #notallclients #actuallytheysaythisallthetime — Josephine (@thstrpprhtsu) May 13, 2014
Not all clients have hygiene issues.
Would you like a shower? “no its ok I’ve just had one” (bork at the sweaty pits smell!!) #notallclients — Sienna_Bronze (@SiennaBronze) May 13, 2014
@homeby7 Says the good looking guy whos pits smell like blue cheese and green onion. #notallclients — Valentina Voluptua (@ValentinaTexas) May 12, 2014
“Don’t worry, I just showered” *entire roll of toilet paper stuck to asshole* #notallclients — Quirky Adorkable (@LoriAdorable) May 12, 2014
Not all clients think they’ve solved the mystery of the oh-so-perplexing sex worker.
“How old are you REALLY? What’s your REAL name? That’s not your real name! *laughs at cleverness in seeing thru my facade*” #notallclients — red (@PennyRedful) May 12, 2014
Laughing so hard LOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL
I’ve heard most of these. It’s weird how clients’ good manners and common sense goes right out the window when they see me. Some of them are just socially stupid and couldn’t pass as normal ANYWHERE, but most of my clients are functional adults with social skills everywhere except with me. Like, the shit that comes out of their mouths sometimes, I just can’t believe it…I have to chalk it up to 1) being horny, which makes men SOOPER STOOPID, and 2) disrespect for me.
My favorites (not really, just joking): vile commentary on my body and appearance…calling my breasts “teats,” for instance, AND constantly wanting reassurance that they are not perverts.
Uhhh….we’re in a commercial dungeon, dude. Perversion is the name of the game. WTF.
I also hate it when they bad-mouth their wives. I mean, the wife could be terrible person, for all I know, but even still, HAVE SOME RESPECT! I hate it when men disrespect other women in front of me.
Good manners and common sense, indeed.
I’ve had a client insult another escort’s snatch, knowing said escort to be a friend of mine. WHAT? Don’t you realize how much harder my job becomes when you’re an ASSHOLE?
Sigh. I’m so happy to have found this blog.
I can relate to allot of these! My fave is *said during private show* “I don’t ever buy dances. I don’t have to pay for it, ya know, my ex is even hotter than you.” And yet, your money is in my purse.
“It’s great playing with someone who actually loves it”/”It’s so hard to find a lady who genuinely enjoys this!”/”I would never hire a girl who didn’t want to be here”
(I hate my work, btw. I took an acting class once, though.)
This whole thing is soooooo familiar, like a bad work-related dream. Have heard them all (except for the one noted below). But the one I get a lot is the “I’m married so you’re going to have to be really discreet” and then proceeds to explain basic communication procedures and hotel ideas to me, often while asking me not to blackmail them. Or I get the long-winded explanations of their ED issues because they’re the ONLY client I’ve ever met with it and it’s a dread disease that I can’t even imagine the horrors of. (Guess I should have been on Twitter this week.)
Yup, a client called em teats, and I’ve never forgotten it. He asked if I could take nipple torture (I was a sub), and I said no, not really, and he said: “Well, I won’t put the clamps right on the teats, then!” I couldn’t believe my ears.
I sometimes wonder if escorts’ clients are as weird and clueless as many of mine. I don’t see how it could be possible.
And LOL at the paranoid married guys. I get so many emails from guys saying I need to be “very discreet.” Why wouldn’t I be, fuckstick. If anything, I prefer it that you are married bc that means you will GO AWAY AFTERWARD.
Actually, from what I’ve heard from strippers and pro-dommes, it seems like their customers actually ARE the worst. Throughout my escorting career, I have dealt with a bunch of the micro-aggressions listed above but NOTHING like I’ve heard from my stripper and pro-domme friends.
Lol…. this was funny 🙂
I’m curious if that’s the common experience with clients. Then why do you still do the work? I’m mostly curious because I don’t have any issues with sex work and I’m in theory with all of it being legalized as long as it’s well regulated to protect all parties involved. I mean is it really just the cash hell some of these seem like the money isn’t even all that good. I’m asking so I don’t assume.
And this comment illustrates a very common trend:
Person in a “regular” job vents about client – receives understanding and compassion.
Person in a sex job vents about client – gets asked “so why do you do it?!”
This happens again, and again, and again. Can you imagine how it gets to us over time? Can you see what it tells us, what stories and perceptions it serves to maintain?
You say you “don’t assume” or “don’t have any issues”. But if you don’t ask the same question of other jobs, then you do, you just aren’t aware of it. And if you do ask this question of customer service reps, waiters, admin assistants, or lawyers, etc. – then I apologize for making my own assumptions.
Dear Lord, this is hilarious! Same goes for massage girls and dakinis. I’ve literally written books on this shit. The Hobbyist who thinks he is a Tantra guru after getting two “tantra massages”, the jerk who pushes boundaries and gives you every line in the book then don’t tip, the creeps who whine about not wanting to give screening info and then text stalk you… anyways, watch this funny video I made about #notallclients in the tantra world: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWQiquk6VUA ~ Scarlet
Basically the men you get with more than $10 are the one’s I wouldn’t fuck for a drink in the club… Yeah bro, thanks for the free drink. No, I won’t be coming out to your car. I’m not even a prostitute and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I’m the nice guy” or, “I’m not like the other guys.” Usually, when they are the one’s who have to say it…
This is all too familiar! And every single one those clients think they’re different then the last. My favorite (as a pro Domme) are the Clients Who think they can get me to “break the files” for a “large tip”.
“if we met under different circumstances would you consider dating me?”. If we met under different circumstances I probably would not even look at you and would make a concious effort to avoid eye contact.
It seems like there is pervasive contempt for clients on the part of sex workers. That would seem to support the belief that sex work is not a choice that a competent person could think was valid for them. If you hate-hate-hate the person you are having an interaction with, how can it not be an extremely unhealthy interaction?
In any job that involves personal service (waiting tables, domestic worker, etc.), a lot of frustration at inconsiderate customer behavior is inevitable. Am I wrong to wonder if the contempt/anger/hatred pervasively expressed on this website goes way beyond the expectable level of frustration?
Is the answer that sex work should be thought of as comparable to being a race car driver? With a high danger of harm, (hopefully just) psychological in the case of the sex worker, physical in the case of the race car driver? But a reasonable choice because of the exceptional potential rewards?
I don’t think that we hate our clients more than other service workers–you just don’t happen to lurk on hair dresser forums and or/etc to see those people talk shit about their most irritating clients. After all, one of the best blogs about client misbehavior–“Clients from Hell”–was created by web designers–are you going to go read them the riot act for hating their clients, or opine that web design isn’t a choice?
I do think our clients misbehave a lot more than many other industries’ clients because of the pervasive belief that sex workers are disposable and/or not fully human beings.
Riot act? Where are you getting that?
This article comes across like it’s saying there are two kinds of custies, assholes, and the ones who think they aren’t.
So, OK, if you’re a sex worker, who enjoys only the occasional wallow in warm mud or self-pity, that means you’ve largely gotten past wishful thinking, everyone-says-so and other forms of lazy thinking. And once you do that, a fairly dark opinion of humanity naturally follows. I can get on board with the idea that, being human, custies are largely assholes. But no, there is nothing special about us that allows us to transcend the normal limits of human assholery. If sex workers are typically convinced of the transcendent assholery of custies, I think that’s maybe saying the job is never a healthy choice.
Believe me, the last thing I WANT is to have to accept the conclusion that paying someone for sex can never be ethical. It would mean celibacy for me.
We’ve addressed this fucktard and his HURT CLIENT FEELZ before on this board and I just can’t be bothered to reiterate it all.
We’re entitled to vent. We don’t have to love you, dude. You are paying for a facsimile of love/affection and a service. If you’re a really good client, most of us will develop respectful feelings of warmth and appreciation for you, and even enjoy you erotically. Otherwise, this is just a job. If that turns you off, go get a real girlfriend.
I didn’t ask anyone to give a shit about how I feel. I am asking a question. If a sex worker (or really whatever worker) thinks literally all their clients are sacks of shit, how can it not totally fuck up said worker’s head to continue in the business?
You vent on me, but then yourself contradict the sentiment of the original article, by saying there are really good clients. But fine, I offer myself as vent-target, as a small token of appreciation for all sex workers.
When I’m with a sex worker, she is in control. My only control is to terminate the session early. A client is either compliant and acceptable, or non-compliant and unacceptable. If a sex worker feels overly appreciative of an acceptable client, that likely means she is being overly tolerant of unacceptable clients. I’m not trying to bash anyone, most of us tolerate things at work that aren’t really acceptable, some less, some more.
Ermmmmm, interested in sex work but have never done it, worked as a bar tender and waiter forever……. We totally hate customers, or more to the point we totally hate the annoying and disrespectful ones, and funnily enough they are the ones we moan about.
Ahhh love this site!!! This is honestly the best, and most accurate depiction of annoying clients I have ever read. I have read it several times and laughed my arse off every time.
Working in the industry, as a private worker I have a few of my own I’d like to contribute…
I have to have fun with it otherwise I’d go insane….
I have a client I have been seeing for years, who (extremely!) inappropriately asks about my other clients and how they compare to him i.e cock size, my enjoyment etc. WTF right?!! I smile & laugh it off, change subject, give him a friendly hug and as my face is hidden, roll my eyes and mouth “f***tard!” behind him. Ahhh the sheer f***ing stupidity of it all. Probably an indicator that he harbours same sex fantasies that he has problems facing. SO not an issue, but I do wish he’d just sort that out on his own time and not involve me. AWKWARD!
One that really cheeses me off is: client calls, I answer. “Hello?”, “Can I come in NOW???!!”. Well, first of all bookings are, a) appointment only; b) I do have other clients already booked into my schedule as well as have a life outside work (oh horror of horrors!), and c) let’s not forget to factor in enough travel time to get here! Appointments are meant to start when the client gets here, not when he hops in his car, drives for half an hour, then arrives. He, of course is only considering his own time and self, everyone else, especially a sex worker, is simply irrelevant, and there for his enjoyment only at all times! Even when they’re not being paid. My response, “Are you waiting out front?”. client, is confused, “Errrr, no”. Back to moi, “Well then, unless you have a time machine, and go back in time long enough for you to drive here and arrive out the front RIGHT NOW, then we have ourselves in a bit of a pickle don’t we?”. client is even more confused, and bewildered. “Uh uh, uh, can I come in now?”. FFS! Usually my response is to just hang up. On the rare time I have let these, clearly disrespectful douchetards in because I wanted their money badly enough (of course factoring in appropriate time to arrive), they have been SURPRISE, SURPRISE… late! Tuh-dah!
btw, isn’t an OCD issue on my part, I assure you! I just believe it’s a sign of respect to value other people and their time; it is, after all, money;)
Oh, oh, oh, and what about those pearlers, “do you like to party? ;)” i.e. will you get off your face with me so I can take advantage of you completely and get my “money’s worth” (IF you get paid at all!!) or “do you accept payment other than cash ;)?” i.e. drugs. And no, they are not kidding. I’ve already asked. No effing way!!! Wow, what charmers!
I could go on & on… but won’t! Have to go take a shower. 🙂
[…] of a client who was too bashful to even kiss you first in the hotel room reinventing himself as the stud who “raw dogged” you until you “exploded” on the boards: I put her out like a light, she’ll be out for the night. Soon as her head hit the pillows, […]