Home Blog Page 80

Love and Frosting: A Conversation With Portland’s Cupcake Girls

The author with Cupcake Girls Bri and Amy (Photo by
The author with Cupcake Girls Bri and Amy (Photo by author’s coworker)

“But how should I address the invitations?” the young brunette across from me asked.

“Husband first, so ‘Mr and Mrs blank,’” advised the older woman next to her, and everyone nodded.

I blinked and made a note, tried not to look confused or judgmental. I was at a planning meeting for It’s a Cupcake Christmas!, a benefit for the Cupcake Girls. They talked about logistics, about raffle prizes, about how much money they wanted to raise, and I played with my mug of tea, not sure what to make of these nice ladies who bring cupcakes to strippers, all of whom were younger than me and married.

Their mission statement reads, “We exist to bring non-judgmental support, consistent caring, community resources and peace, love and cupcakes to women in the adult entertainment industry.”

It sounds simple, but I didn’t get it. That’s why I was there, because I didn’t know what to make of them. This was like a “behind the scenes with the Cupcake Girls!” deal, and we’d scheduled a real sit-down interview over tea the upcoming week and between the two of those I hoped to have a better grasp on what was up with them. In the meantime I wanted to make the most of my sneak peek into how they worked but I kept getting sidetracked by questions like “Who goes first on the invitation?” I didn’t even know people my age cared about such things outside of like, Gossip Girl.

The first time I heard of the Cupcake Girls I was really confused. “The Cupcake what?”

My friend tried to explain:

“They’re Christians, they bring cupcakes to the club and spread the message of the Lord.”

“They bring actual cupcakes?”

“I think sometimes they do hair and makeup too. But they’re trying to make church look less scary and win Christ followers.”

“No way!”

I couldn’t wait to meet these people.

We’re Trying Something

moneyduffelAs you may know, Tits and Sass is an all-volunteer operation. Our editors and writers do everything on the site as a labor of love for our community. But we’d like to be able to change that by paying the people who do the work you see here, so as a small experiment we’ve signed up at Gittip to see if any of our readers are interested in supporting us with small cash gifts on a regular basis. If you click on the button in the sidebar over there, you can donate to the site by signing up to give us a buck a week or a lapdance a month or whatever you feel like. Anything we receive will go directly towards supporting the site! If you’re interested in contributing in a different way, please contact us at info@titsandsass.com.

Stripper Music Monday: Money Anthems As Positive Affirmations

Gangsta Boo isn't in the mood. Pay up or get out.
Gangsta Boo isn’t in the mood. Pay up or get out.

We all have those nights when shaving your entire body, gluing on false lashes, and fake smiling at customers seem like the most laborious tasks imaginable. Now, you can either cop out and decide that the club is PROBABLY going to be dead anyway so you MIGHT AS WELL watch Netflix in bed all night, or you can try to change your attitude. When I know that I have no choice but to drag my ass to the club, and I have to get in the mood to deal with a mind-numbing evening of “What’s your REAL name?” and “I just came in for a beer,” I turn to musical inspiration. The right combination of songs can transform me from a motionless sloth in a blanket-burrito to a perfectly coiffed seductress ready to empty all the wallets.

I’ve spent a lot of time considering how music affects my mood for work, and my theory is that rap lyrics about getting money are actually a form of positive affirmation. Yep, that hokey New Age “Law of Attraction” stuff. As I’m getting ready for work, listening to Lil’ Kim say “fuck bitches, get money” truly puts me in the mindset to get ALL the money and disregard ALL the bitches. If you tell yourself something enough times, it becomes your truth. So my pre-work twerking in the mirror can actually be considered a sort of meditation…right?

Here are my Get Money Anthems (playlist here), guaranteed to inspire you to be on your hustle.

The Week In Links—May 2

Ohio gubernatorial candidate and ex-stripper Larry Ealy (Photo by by Lynn Hulsey, via the Dayton Daily News)
Ohio gubernatorial candidate and ex-stripper Larry Ealy (Photo by by Lynn Hulsey, via the Dayton Daily News)

“I did it for the exposure; really, it was more of a promotional thing,” said Ohio gubernatorial candidate Larry Ealy of his time as a stripper.

Some excellent tips for reporters looking to liven up a slow news day with salacious and sloppy stories about how sex workers are everywhere. We are, you know.  Watch out. And also watch for this formula!

The fact that sex workers use the internet is still surprising to some, but this roundtable with Melissa Gira Grant, N’jaila Rhee, Hawk Kinkaid, Stoya, and Tits and Sass contributor Emma Caterine goes beyond the initial shock of sex workers as Real People Who Really Exist to talk about some of the realities of sexual and emotional labor and the issues facing sex workers right now.

The Department of Justice’s Operation Choke Point (ignore the weak gag about blow jobs) is probably behind the closing of porn performers’ bank accounts.  As Melissa Gira Grant said in the TtW panel, “if you want a preview of what will happen to everyone else on the Internet, this is a really remarkable opportunity.”

Namibian sex workers want to meet with the police chief of Windhoek municipality to discuss pending legislation that threatens their lives and livelihood.

House of Pleasures (2011)

Ah, those dreams about crying tears of sperm--a sure sign of sex worker burnout (gif made out of screenshot of House of Pleasures)
Ah, those dreams about crying tears of sperm—a sure sign of burnout (.gif made out of screenshot of House of Pleasures)

House of Pleasures (also called House of Toleration or L’Appolonide: Souvenirs de la Maison Close in its native France), directed by Bertrand Bonello, is a film depicting the last year of a legal French brothel, a maison close, at the turn of the 20th century. While the film does predictably illustrate the old prostitution-is-inherently-miserable motif, sex working viewers will find much to enjoy in the close examination of brothel history and the dynamics of women’s spaces that the movie offers. Then, of course, there are the costumes and the intense outfit envy they engender in any hooker with a pulse. The brothel workers wear diaphanous, clinging gowns that look like proper dresses in shadow but reveal their transparent naughtiness in candle light, and look even more temptingly gorgeous draped along with their wearers on the lush upholstered furniture of the maison. These elements, along with the sharp dialogue that director Bonello gives the workers, kept me watching, even when the crude, supposedly “feminist” analysis and the all-too-voyeuristic violence against sex workers he inserted into the movie made me want to hurl my remote control at the screen.

C’mon!  Take this scene, for example:

Client: [After long, tedious description of the plot of H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds—this guy is obviously the Victorian antecedent of people who blurt out spoilers] Have you read it?

Brothel Worker: No. My only two books are Sade’s diaries and the Bible, and I don’t read the Bible.

My kind of girl!

And at first I thought that House of Pleasures might provide the audience a nuanced economic analysis of its protagonists’ work: Early on in the movie, it’s made clear through a close up of the madam’s ledger book and the women’s anxious conversation among themselves that most of the workers are deeply in debt to the house. Throughout the narrative, the women and the brothel itself struggle to survive in the face of the crushing reality of a raised rent. There are even some interesting insights about the unpaid emotional labor involved in the work, as it’s implied that in this upscale environment, what’s being sold as much as the sexual services themselves is a cheerful, carefree attitude of refined femininity. While the women tally their success at the end of the night by the number of men who took them upstairs, they must linger for hours in calculated languidness downstairs, making conversation and cozying up with idle clients, playing board games with them and seeing how many party tricks can be performed with a champagne flute. “Try to be joyful,” the madam chides them at the beginning of the evening.