Tools of the Trade

Home Tools of the Trade

Being Nice to the Professionally Naughty: Holiday Gifts for Sex Workers

from glukkake’s etsy shop

Having trouble stuffing the sexiest stockings on your Christmas list? We’re here to help by sharing with you items both useful and fanciful on our collective wishlists.

Vagina Dentata Glow-in-the-Dark Underwear: I’d be so thrilled to see someone wear these at the club. How many customers would even notice? These would be perfect to wear while dancing to Lady Gaga’s “Teeth.—Bubbles

James Deen: for a few hours, no cameras allowed. — Charlotte

Spa Services: Even if your favorite sex worker is not a girly girl who keeps regular professional hair/nail appointments, there isn’t anyone among us who wouldn’t like a good massage. Gift certificates to a quality spa are a no-lose gift idea.—Bubbles

NBA Enters Into Agreement To License Stripper Heels

Instead of Pleaser or Ellie, the NBA went with a sports clothing company called HerStar to make these stripperific platform pumps. While civilians have been wearing 6″ platforms for a few years now, these blingy things will show up on the pole soon enough.

These are perfect for dancers, but for female sports fans? Jerseys that fit would be a nice gesture, too, for those times you don’t feel like wearing 6″ pumps to a game. We strippers are always capable of cutting up and altering shirts to wear as hootchie halter tops in the club.