Stripper Music Monday: Khia, “Pay Your Pu$$y Bill”
Oh, Khia. Tell us how you really feel. This probably won’t have as solid a place in the stripper canon as “My Neck, My Back (Lick It),” but it’s just as subtle.
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Stripper Music Monday: 2001 And A Dying Format
Someone hit my car in a parking lot (he left a note), so it’s been in the shop for a week. The dealer’s loaner is lacking, stereo-wise; there’s no SiriusXM and not even an AUX input plug. After three whole days of thinking “broadcast radio is not cutting it,” I realized that even without being able to plug in my iPhone, there was a way to listen to music in this car. On CD. That means that somehow the old, hard-copy method of listening to music in cars did not register for a full 72 hours.
Strip club music plays from a computer now, unless you’re in a little bar with a jukebox or a stereo with an iPod jack (hello, Portland). If the club allows dancers any control over the music, the DJ will either download requests or rip them from iPods/phones/flash drives. So it’s rare now to see a dancer bring CDs to work. Until relatively recently the ones with a particular interest in what they danced to while on stage would regularly haul their CD cases up to the DJ booth every shift, though.
Escort Music Monday: Massive Attack’s ‘Mezzanine’
For about a year and a half every client I saw at the incall (at least for their first few visits—I often forgot they’d seen me before) would get to enjoy a fabulous hour or more with me doing wicked and evil things to them, set to the ambient backdrop of Massive Attack’s ‘Mezzanine’. I think it’s the perfect hooker album—sexy, moody and dirty. Most clients commented positively about it and wanted to know what it was.
The entire album length is just over an hour so it’s perfect to keep track of time without having to set a pesky alarm. Nothing says paid sexy time is OVER like a blaring alarm right before a client blows his load! With this album I know when the music stops it’s time to get him back in the shower or do something new for the next hour.
Stripper Music Monday: Christmas Songs
Working the company Christmas party is inevitable when you work a lot during the holiday season. You may have to suffer Frederick’s Christmas lingerie and jokes about Santa’s lap, but don’t put up with your DJ’s Christmas song collection. If it consists solely of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You” (or, God forbid, the reboot with Justin Bieber) and AC/DC’s “Mistress for Christmas,” pull out these tracks for a change of pace.
Merry Christmas! May your stockings be stuffed with large bills.
Lloyd, “She’s All I Want For Christmas”
Stripper Music Monday: Live Band Edition
Alt-weeklies are always willing to run a strip club feature, using this reliably entertaining subject matter as clickbait. They’ll do stories about labor issues, the food they serve, current legal challenges, and the music they play (yes, that’s me). This year, a couple of alt-weekly strip club stories stuck with me for covering a phenomenon I haven’t personally encountered: Strip clubs serving as live music venues in Miami and Los Angeles.
In the days of Gypsy Rose Lee, striptease was backed by a live band because it was a theatrical performance. Burlesque houses had a house band, not a DJ, to supply the music. As burlesque turned to stripping and theaters to clubs, DJs and jukeboxes became the soundtrack of striptease. It’s a simpler, cheaper way to supply music for a constant parade of dancers on multiple stages.