And then there were four one seeds and a ten seed left. Readers, your final candidates. Voting is open until midnight TONIGHT and the championship match will be announced tomorrow with voting open until Sunday night. But let’s be honest, “Pony” or “Closer,” that’s the real contest. Here’s the full bracket if you’d like to review how the contest has played out up until now.

Our stripper song bracket is down to its regional finals today. Only two contestants from each quadrant remain in competition, and you will now vote to pick the regional champions. Here’s the full bracket and here’s a playlist of the remaining eight songs.

“Pony” and “Closer” continue to dominate their respective regions. Can “Drop It Like It’s Hot” credibly challenge “Pony?” “Fuck The Pain Away” has a reasonable shot at “Closer” thanks to its consistently strong showing, but I hope we aren’t deprived of a semifinal matchup between Ginuwine and Nine Inch Nails. “I Touch Myself” has pulled off a major upset of “Girls, Girls, Girls” to compete with “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for the Classics title, and the Rock region trends ever gothier as “The Beautiful People” and “More Human Than Human” face off.

Voting is open now until Thursday, when the Final Four will be announced.

We’re down to the regional finalists in our contest to determine The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time! Congratulations to the top four in each region, and good luck! Here is the complete bracket and here is a Spotify playlist of the remaining sixteen contestants.

The Hip Hop/R&B region has played out in surprising fashion, with three double-digit seeds moving into the Sweet Sixteen. Unsurprisingly, “Pony” continues its domination of the field, next facing Khia’s ode to cunnilingus, “My Neck, My Back,” fresh off a decisive pounding of “Perfect Gentleman.” Telling a dude to go down  >  Captain
Save-a-ho.

Thanks to everyone who voted in the first round through the weekend! The field is down to 32 songs, and if you want to jump straight to the results, here is the bracket with the first round winners. Here is a Spotify playlist. Let’s move on to the second round, where you’ll cast your votes to decide who moves on into the Sweet Sixteen. Voting is open until 12am PST Thursday and the next round will be announced Thursday morning. Voting is open to everyone.

The Rock bracket had disappointing showings for “Black No. 1” and “Walk,” but I was impressed that everyone hates Nickelback SO MUCH that you knocked out the #2 seed right at the start. The second round matchup to watch? “Prison Sex” vs “Crazy Bitch.” Who will come out ahead? The durable goth/metal 90s hit or the deathless, awful Buckcherry anthem? If your unsurprising rock votes are any predictor, I’m going with Buckcherry. It’s like choosing between Sweatpants Boner Man and Guy With Shit Breath.

Yesterday, we opened voting in the Hip Hop/R&B and Dance/Pop brackets to begin selecting The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time. Today, voting opens in the Rock and Classics brackets. You can vote in all four until midnight (PST) Sunday. Here’s the full bracket, and here’s a Spotify playlist with (nearly) all the songs.

The Rock bracket is stocked with songs that have held on to constant play for years. Rammstein, White Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Pantera, Danzig. I’m unclear on who decided that “Pepper” and “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” were perfect for the strip club, but both still get regular play. It was, and I’m laughing as I’m typing this, difficult to decide on which Nickelback song to include, but after some dressing room conversations with coworkers, it’s clear that “Shakin’ Hands” is the standout.