According to its wiki, cognitive dissonance is the “discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, performs an action that is contradictory to one or more beliefs, ideas, or values, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values.” Mass hysteria is defined as “a phenomenon that transmits collective delusions of threats, whether real or imaginary, through a population in society as a result of rumors and fear.”
Calm your tits is a perfectly reasonable response to a breathless abolitionist who is experiencing either cognitive dissonance or mass hysteria. Last week, Amnesty International released a report that called for the full decriminalization of sex work and harshly condemned the Nordic Model of regulating sex work. The report, of course, is significant in that it validates what sex workers have been saying for decades (stop arresting us!) while also subverting the traditionally accepted “progressive” narrative that sex buyers are bad but sex sellers are victims.
So, how did the remaining norders (that’s the term I just made up for Nordic Model endorsers! Get it? NORD. ERS.) react when the news broke? Let’s just say, their tits were not calm. Here are some of the best examples:
— Diana f/k/a (@desifoxx) May 26, 2016
Calm down, Diana. That’s not what’s happening at all. Of course, the all-powerful pimp lobby was invoked:
— Lisa Thompson (@LisaAtNCOSE) April 8, 2016
Was Dennis Hof really consulted for the Amnesty study? I had no idea.
— Eleanor Gaetan (@EkGaetan) May 26, 2016
— Jacqueline Gwynne (@JacquelinGwynne) May 29, 2016
Slick illustration? Check. Purposeful misrepresentation of the subject matter? Check.
— Oliver Doran (@Oliver_Doran) May 26, 2016
Oh, thank goodness. I knew we were missing the Enlightened Male Progressive’s opinion. Just kidding. Calm your tits, Oliver.
— BambiJudge (@JudgeBambi) May 29, 2016
Yay 4 this nonsense press release.
— Unizon (@unizonjourer) May 27, 2016
Well, that’s not technically wrong. But it is technically a horrible thing to say.
— rights4girls (@rights4girls) May 26, 2016
The nerve of the world’s largest human rights organization to literally reverse its policy based on, like, research or whatever.
— Rachel Moran (@RachelRMoran) May 27, 2016
There’s an error in your ideology, Rachel.
— Peter King (@KingPeterking12) May 13, 2016
I honestly haven’t heard George Soros’s name invoked since college! I knew, I just knew, this whole thing was a part 85-year-old George Soros’s dastardly plan for a utopian future.