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Striplandia Resolutions

The Lucky Devil dressing room

In the city that has so many sexually oriented businesses that it’s known as “Pornland, Whoregon,” we asked a handful of dancers what they’d like to strive for in 2013. To find an upcycled brass pole for the house? To save up for that tattoo of a zombie bacon cupcake with a mustache?

It turns out that the stripsters of Portland want the same things that strippers everywhere want: to drink less soda and tell more lies. You’re welcome to share your own work and/or personal resolutions in the comments section. 

“I want to be more positive and spend more time appreciating what life has given me.” —Oasis, Mystic

“I will publish my first book and be on a cover of a tattoo magazine!” —Elle, Lucky Devil

“This year I think I’d like to start an intense savings plan, commit to a more healthy lifestyle, and take a tour of the east coast—visit all the historical sites and whatnot.” —Juniper, Lucky Devil

“I’m going to give myself a breast self-exam once a month and walk my dog more.” —Caprice, Golden Dragon

“I’m going to keep putting cash before ass (but hopefully get some action sometime before 2014), travel dance, finish my stripper comic, and get into grad school.” —Red, Casa Diablo

“I’d like to quite drinking soda… not the most exciting but that’s it.” —Gabriela, Lucky Devil

“First is taking more time to let my creative side run wild and second, I am going to snail mail five handwritten, heartfelt letters to people who positively affect my life.” —Holladay, Pirate’s Cove

“[Mine are] to read all my favorite classics again, to be more consistent with practicing yoga, and to have more eye contact with customers once my clothes come off on stage.” —Natalia, Dolphin II

“I’m not going to give out as much personal info at work and lie more.” —Holland, Exotica International

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Suzy Hooker is the collective byline for any T&S contributor who wishes to remain anonymous for a particular post.

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