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Defensive Punting?

Lawmakers in Colorado are proposing a way of educating men who buy sex from escorts. They’re billing it like a “Scared Straight” for hobbyists. But you know what a diversion program for busted Johns also sounds like? Traffic school. Maybe it will be eight hours long, have a brief lunch break, include a few sex trafficking equivalents of Red Asphalt, a shame workbook, and end with a multiple choice quiz. You know, because if only the guys spending money for pleasure knew that the women they were seeing were basically glorified comfort women, then maybe they’d think twice about it.

The fact that most of those guys are seeing women who participate in consensual sex work is probably not on the table, which bores me. YAWN, more evidence that people think we can’t consent to sex work, YAWN more evidence that people are cool with taking our agency away from us, YAWN more evidence that people think we couldn’t possibly want to have sex for money…

Anyway, I would love it if there were a school for Johns, but only if it were run by sex workers; Do you know how many grody men I have to point toward a shower because they showed up to a session without showering?

Lesson One: Wash Your Ass before you come see me.

Lesson Two: Some of us like our jobs, just like you. Some of us don’t, but we’re probably working out an exit strategy. Fold up the cape and put it away, Mr. White Knight.

Lesson Three: Darlin’, do you know how smart I have to be to do this job well? Stop telling me I’m too smart/good for this job. You have no idea how good I am at business because of this gig, how much I learn about men on the daily, etc. I am assuming you’re blinded by the fact that I am in the sex industry, therefore I must have low self esteem so you’re doing me a favor by stroking my ego a bit so that I can get on my feet? Maybe you think it’s dirty? Address your own guilt around sex if that’s the problem, because I’m good, boo. You don’t pay me for this!

Lesson Four: Get a new script! I hear so many men saying the same things, it’s become absurd. Diversify, fellas. You guys should form local groups and figure that out.

Lesson Five: Please try not to make our time together as awkward as possible with your prying into my personal life. Why would I tell you where I live? My mom’s name? My favorite bar? Honey, no. But I will tell you the name of A Bar, Someone’s Mom’s Name, and Someone’s Address… I’d rather not be forced into a ridiculous lie though, so let’s focus on what we’re here for.

Lesson Six: Please stop telling me about other women you sessioned with. I know her and I don’t want to hear you compare and contrast. That’s why you’re wearing a ball gag. Be a problem solver and keep your trap shut if  you can’t say anything nice.

I’ve been working all weekend so I could do this all night, but you get the point. This is a bit silly, Colorado.

Hello there, I'm Bettie. So nice to meet you, and in such welcoming surroundings! This is a bio, so let me tell you some things about me: *I like old things. Old films, old clothes, old men, almost anything really. *I am a philosophy student. *I like to travel. Like. A lot. And by bus! *I am a sex worker. Specifically, I give spankings. I'm a Pro-Domme. *I am also a feminist. The mouthy kind. The one who ruins tv and movies for you. *And a woman of color. As evinced by my snazzy portrait displaying my brownfulness for all the world to see. There are things about me that are incredibly old world and Southern, like my intense love of barbecue and mint juleps, but I swear I'm a modern lady. Lady here is defined by me, not any dictionary. I like to think of myself as a gypsy, my Mom just thinks I'm unstable, both are applicable. Hey MOM! I have a sincere disdain for class privilege, conspicuous consumption, blatant and covert racism, and people being nasty to each other for no damn reason. I insist on being ladylike at all times; it's my fetish and I won't change it for you, you're not my real dad! Also, I believe very much in side hustles and am an avid shoe wearer. It's so nice to meet you, darlin'. With love, B. My Twitter My Tumblr


  1. I literally laughed out loud at rule #1. How I wish every dude–customer or not–would follow this one daily! WHY IS IT SO HARD? YOU’RE IN THE SHOWER ALREADY. WASH IT!!! IT FEELS GOOD!!!! JUST TRY IT!!!!!!


  2. Sarah, basically. Like, why show up and intend on taking your clothes off when you know you smell terribly? Or, worse, how do you not smell yourself when I can smell you across the room?

    I need to start a school.

  3. As a male hobbyist, I am glad I did not match any of the issues you described.

    I always shower and shave before seeing the ladies. I also try to advise others on improving themselves. The cleaner and more desirable you are when entering the door will directly reflect in the service received.

    Ladies I thank you for your hard work!

  4. White Knight, guilt, your low self esteem… actually Bettie some are paying you in part for this and the sex of course… lets face it.. our society is so ridiculously screwed up around our sexuality that some men (especially beginners) are literally scared out of their wits seeing you… so they fall back on outdated and old cliches to cover up their insecurities… I know its a pain but patience and understanding is a good way of dealing with it… and lie of course… its really what they want anyway!.. they have no intention of taking you home to their mothers… lol

    I like what you have to say about more evidence that people think you can’t consent to sex work and more evidence that people think you couldn’t possibly want to have sex for money… I find it hard to believe that so many people have brainwashed themselves to believe these ideas… Its an unbelievable truth for me!

    Thanks for sharing and keep being true to yourself.. its really the only way to survive and prosper being human!


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