Sex work comes with a lot of fringe perks: convenient hours, creative work uniforms, and basically having the coolest job on the planet. One of the lesser-known perks of sex work are the gifts we receive: the tokens of appreciation that the men that favor us hand out around the holidays. Most of the time we get the traditional pretty girl-type gifts. A box of chocolates. An austere piece of jewelry. Maybe a bottle of perfume.
Any veteran sex worker will tell you that he or she has also unwrapped something a little…peculiar. It’s true—we get a lot of weird gifts (it’s worth noting that weird isn’t necessarily synonymous with bad). We’ve learned over time how to gracefully accept some, shall we say, unconventional presents.
Our clients and customers try, they really do, to mixed results. Bless their hearts.
We wondered: What sort of oddities have our readers received?
What’s the most unusual present a client’s ever given you? #weirdsexworkergifts
— Tits and Sass (@titsandsass) November 30, 2013
@titsandsass His late mother’s old (very expensive) suede coat. The weather had changed quickly during a 3-hour call & I hadn’t brought one. — Maggie McNeill (@Maggie_McNeill) December 1, 2013
@titsandsass This plush dog puppet. #weirdsexworkergifts pic.twitter.com/ZKPAfigrEK
— Blair (@districtlolita) December 1, 2013
A frog stuffed animal that looked like it was from one of those claw vending machines. #weirdsexworkergifts @titsandsass — Lori Adorablargh (@LoriAdorable) November 30, 2013
Food is a reoccurring theme.
@titsandsass an entire shopping bag full of assorted varieties of Babybel cheese. #weirdsexworkergifts
— Cathryn Berarobitch (@VSleazy) December 1, 2013
@titsandsass a 20 lb bag of potatoes. he was a potato farmer, which makes sense but still 20 lbs of potatoes? — BellaVendetta (@BellaVendetta) November 30, 2013
@titsandsass @BellaVendetta Oh, I got a bag of sweet corn from a corn farmer. It was good, too. #weirdsexworkergifts
— Tushy Galore (@tushy_galore) December 1, 2013
hey @thstrpprhtsu asks what kind of weird gifts you’ve gotten from customers. I’ve gotten *both* venison and elk jerky! #weirdsexworkergifts — Susan E. Shepard (@SusanElizabeth) November 30, 2013
A lacey pair of pantyhose and a mango. Gift wrapped. #weirdsexworkergifts
— Not Sienna (@stripparchist) December 1, 2013
I once got an unsolicited watermelon. #weirdsexworkergifts — Riley Alexander (@RilesNmelbourne) December 1, 2013
I once got something that SHOULD have been chocolate covered Strawberries, but wasn’t…. #horrified #weirdsexworkergifts
— Axelle Vadnais (@AxelleVadnais) December 1, 2013
@titsandsass #weirdsexworkergifts this guy used to give me hunting knives and jade animal figurines. He also brought us steak and granola. — SurvivetheClub (@SurviveTheClub) December 1, 2013
Drugs. Not bad.
@titsandsass the rest of his weed before he went to rehab the next day.
— Pepper Katz (@REPTAR_PORN) November 30, 2013
This Sidney Crosby plaque. #weirdsexworkergifts pic.twitter.com/14Hek7wxYf — Josephine (@thstrpprhtsu) December 1, 2013
A silver crucifix necklace. Yes, with the Jesus figure on it. He had little diamond-chip eyes. #weirdsexworkergifts
— mistressmatisse (@mistressmatisse) November 30, 2013
Do not violate the Prime Directive.
One of my favorite clients gave me a ST:TNG communicator badge & a signed photo of Gates McFadden. #weirdsexworkergifts — Queen Jolene (@jolenestarshine) November 30, 2013
I did get narwhal & 3 wolf moon t-shirts, but they were from my wishlist. #weirdsexworkergifts
— Queen Jolene (@jolenestarshine) November 30, 2013
It’s good that they considered the environment.
@RilesNmelbourne Recently rec flowers from client that just came from a funeral service… Flowers were from service. #weirdsexworkergifts — Gabrielle (@Gabrielle_Qld) December 1, 2013
Hand-me-down business casual clothes two sizes to big, and hotel toiletries in a luxury shop bag. #weirdsexworkergifts
— Jacob (@Jacobb89) December 1, 2013
Uh, dead animals are also a reoccurring theme.
A taxidermy fox he’d trapped himself. #weirdsexworkergifts — CuntessVonFingerbang (@TheNotoriousYEG) December 1, 2013
Oh that’s right, I had a taxidermist give me a bunch of animal skulls once. #weirdsexworkergifts @TheNotoriousYEG
— mistressmatisse (@mistressmatisse) December 1, 2013
@titsandsass #weirdsexworkergifts Dried baby-sea-creatures from Thailand. … Also, “Oh The Places You Will Go,” gift-set with tote bag. <3 — Maple Brooks (@MapleBrooks) December 1, 2013
What are you hoping to find in your stocking for the holidays?
What about miiiiine, you didn’t include mine…? I was on #weirdsexworkergifts!
I got the battery for a hearing aid one time and also clipped coupons to the drug store. Yes, battery to hearing aid, no shit, and my hearing is optimal & healthy. Another client tried to pay me with his wife’s used lingerie. La Perla! “IT’s VERY expensive!” he assured me. BARF
Half an Adderall; fresh-squeezed lemonade from a bougie grocery store; two be-glittered t-shirts from Octoberfest in Munich (his vacation) in size medium – I’m an xs.
HALF AN ADDERALL haaahahahahhahahahahah
[…] Josephine Sex work comes with a lot of fringe perks: convenient hours, creative work uniforms, and basically […]
Grocery bags full of grapefruit. A collar for a cat. A homemade CD with creepy stalker songs.
My regular client gave me a backpack full of things that I might need in the event of a zombie attack or natural disaster. It includes a machete, bear spray, flashlight, wind up/solar radio, first aid stuff, freeze dried food packets, water filters, air filters, emergency blanket, bottled water, and a bunch of other stuff!
a heart-shaped, crystal-encrusted usb key with a couple of his holiday snaps on it
A Christmas CD of him singing Christmas songs…….. REALLY bad!
A bag of broccoli fresh from their garden (god bless these horny farmers).
[…] out this one from Tits & Sass, a retweet of sorts when they asked about strange gifts […]