Comments on: You’re Not Not Funny: The Onion’s Ten Funniest Stripper Stories

By: Wendy

Wendy — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:21:20 +0000

In reply to Amanda. I can bring my own stripper supplies and food. It is fucked up to have to pay anybody money who is one's coworker, and the wealthy club can afford it. There may be some nice people who work as housemoms, but the whole idea of paying them as a dancer is absolutely ridiculous. We have to tip them because the club is too cheap and exploitative to call them a dressing room manager and pay them a living wage.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 20:35:23 +0000

In defense of housemoms, I’ve known mostly good ones who were well worth their tipout (and then some). They do a job I have never wanted. Guess it’s luck of the draw.

I’ve only known 2 truly human DJs.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:28:15 +0000

In reply to Bubbles. I sure am. What's the criteria such as word limit, structure, etc? Any? The email address I've been putting is incorrect, but the one I've listed now is correct. You can email me the criteria if you're still interested. I would LOVE to do a rant about the superfluous job of "house mom" as well, and how I should not be expected to give some person five dollars every night for sitting in the dressing room talking shit to me.

By: LW

LW — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:26:12 +0000

In reply to Wendy. I did quick google search, Larry Vernard Bell was 48, and Heather Elaine Rogers was only 21, it is heart-wrenching to read, a young beautiful lady perished in hand of a monster. Wendy, I hope your vent will put your mind at ease, glade you share your frustrations and might all reader support you in someway.

By: Bubbles

Bubbles — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 15:37:59 +0000

In reply to Wendy. Hey, if you're interested in contributing a rant about DJs we'd love to have it!

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 08:16:02 +0000

Burn in hell, Larry Bell.

They were also buddies with Madigan who was at the Cab when I was a baby stripper too. Madigan is also a misogynist and a traitor to the plight of her fellow strippers as a whole.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 08:14:12 +0000

Also, the DJ Chris who was living with him during the murder-suicide was a DJ at Cabaret as well. Chris is also a fucked up misogynist who bullied me when I was a baby stripper. He’s extremely short and unattractive, and pumps up with steroids. I think he’s working over at Mystic now. Barf, I hated both of them. FYI, Chris heard Larry Bell’s murdered girlfriend screaming for help prior to her murder, but he chose to stay inside his bedroom in their apartment rather than help her, which ultimately lead to the murder-suicide. I wish Larry Bell would have taken out Chris instead of the girl, but of course that would have been inconsistent with Larry Bell’s violently misogynistic tendencies.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 08:10:29 +0000

Speaking of fucked up strip club DJs, do any of you Portlanders remember Larry Bell the DJ from Cabaret and other clubs? He shot up Cabaret one night in an angry rage, and several years later shot his young girlfriend, leaving her child motherless, and then shot and killed himself. He was the first DJ I ever had, and he would always be like, “You only tipped me one dollar!” I found a facebook page last year discussing his death, and people were saying nice sympathetic things in his memory. I read nothing about the fact that he was a sexist misogynist woman abuser murderer. Let it be known here that I rarely tipped Larry Bell more than one dollar per shift when I was a baby stripper and he attempted to pressure me into giving him more money, and let it be known here that dead Larry Bell was not a good person, rather he was an entertaining DJ and a disgusting misogynist murderer of women who is better off dead.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 07:21:01 +0000

Nothing in particular triggered the comment, it’s just that I was boiling from it and needed to vent and decided to do it on the latest T&S posting.

Some strippers think this is fucked up about me, but I will never fucking tip the DJ if it’s not mandatory. I could write an entire book about how much I hate most strip club DJs. Those mother fuckers get none of my money. I always try to advise baby strippers not to be bullied or intimidated by the DJ demanding tips either, because they will prey upon the girls they find most vulnerable for their fucking tips. The DJ I have now has been featured in popular articles and thinks he is really cool even though he is a hideous old man. I am disgusted at the manner in which he flirts with girls, and the manner in which he doesn’t allow us to choose our own music. I think it’s entertaining that he tries to pressure me into tipping him. He ain’t getting shit from me. Those mother fuckers get an hourly wage and can unionize if they really want to. Furthermore, they are almost exclusively men and I find the gender imbalance sexist and upsetting. They perpetuate it by not hiring women if they are the head DJ in charge of hiring, and by generally existing. That’s not to say there aren’t nice DJs out there just doing a job, though the nice guys don’t overlap with the sexist tipping bullies. If they want more money, they can bother the wealthy strip club owner for an increase in pay. Don’t take the easy way out and bully vulnerable naked ladies to supplement your measly income.

By: SuzyDerp

SuzyDerp — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 05:12:37 +0000

There’s also THIS one (not a stripper one, but a prostitute one)

http://www.theonion.com/video/man-didnt-expect-sex-with-prostitute-would-be-so-e,31305/