What a frustrating experience…

I’d go back and tell her: “Yes, I strip for a living. Strangers pay me to wear fun glittery outfits, show my ladyparts, and eat cake off titties. Whereas YOU, madame, make money by having to stick hoses up people’s bums. I WIN. Thank you and good day.”

The first time I had a direct run in with a prohibitionist, I cried afterwards. It’s easy, with some distance (and years of experience, at this point) to imagine reacting with panache and confidence instead. But in the moment, particularly if you’re not used to it, it can be very disorienting to have someone railroad over your reality and insist that you’re a victim.

I think it was probably for the best that Andi didn’t try to confront this woman. She doesn’t sound like someone who was open to hearing anything other than her own opinions given back to her. (Hence her conflating stripping and prostitution, and ignoring that Andi didn’t think stripping was particularly stressful.) Plus, this:

“Often when I get overwhelmed like this, I become very sleepy and my impulses to fight or flee become dopey and hard to tell apart, and then I just end up sleepwalking through whatever the situation is and waiting for it to be over.”

So, yeah, easy but not very helpful to pretend everything could have been avoided with “sorry lady, you’ve got it all wrong.” Like most people in the midst of their assumptions regularly react so well to being called out on them?

She could have felt, and even expressed, real concern that your work situation might be less than ideal. But nooo, she has all her reactions, all the relevant ‘factoids’ pre-set and ready to discharge whenever the stimulus comes. Reality need not be consulted or acknowledged.

SUSIE BRIGHT!!!!!!! HELLO!!!

i dunno, i have a massage client who always leaves me a certain tip because he knows that’s what i have to pay the “house.” so he’s basically paying my house fee for me, which i hugely appreciate because then i get to keep the entire session fee. he’s not condescending about it, though, which is also really nice.

OMIGOD! once i went in for an annual and when the doctor pulled her fingers out from examining my cervix, she goes, “thank you for letting me do that,” and smiled mischievously. I MEAN: WTF is up with people?

Reposting!

That’s the problem, though: The “help” was unwanted, and therefore not helpful. People like to give what they think someone else needs without actually listening to what they need, but disregarding the wishes of another person, whether well-intentioned or not, is not very kind or helpful at all.