The only thing I disagree on is the guys who want to whine all the time about their issues. I just think it’s better than having sex with them haha. Plus, they “feel a connection” between us two and want to come back. Win-win situation in my eyes 😛 Ive been paid $1600 for a night, talked throughout it, gave him a bj and he doozed right off to sleep. Easiest money I’ve ever made.

The “I want whatever you want”. Oh my Lord, as everyone else has said, soooo true!! There’s a 99% possibility that I wont enjoy anything you do, so let me do my job and let me know what you want!

As far as the “do what you want” I always snapped people out of that quickly by pulling out my biggest strap on (I call it the baby arm, it almost reaches my knee) and waving it around with a look of utter joy on my face. I have found that they would quickly start being more specific when they saw it.

Just like Evie and Branding, I have no idea how people have not called me on my bs, especially since I was and still am very active on a review board. But you pay for an illusion and that is what you get.

Fair point 🙂

Have tried to figure out a way sell used things (#2) but it always ends up looking like too much work for not enough money. Disappointing because I have so much stuff to sell!!

#4 is a huge YES. I have so longed to do that with escort clients. Too many have said “Do whatever you want to do” and they really shouldn’t because I what I want is to take the money and go home.

No, my clients don’t dictate every single second of every single scene (how it actually works most of the time is they tell me a few things they like, a few things they don’t like, and their limits, and I work within those guidelines), but I also don’t get to walk into session and do whatever BDSM activities I feel like. And honestly? It shouldn’t be that way. Most submissives have their own sexual desires and limitations beyond “pleasing the Dom(me)”, and as someone who’s almost entirely subby in her personal life, I hate the notion that the sub is just there for the Dom(me)’s pleasure. It’s a two-way street. But when one partner is paying, it’s mostly a one-way street, and that’s fine. BDSM interests are so vast and tolerances vary so much from person to person, that doing what I want every time would be absurd and unprofitable. I just want clients to acknowledge this, and to not expect me to be personally into (and even sexually aroused by) everything from hardcore electrical play to sissification to pony training to adult babies to shibari bondage to caning, because I certainly don’t expect them to be into all of those things.

Also, way to put words into my mouth. Clients who want me to “do what I want” aren’t “evil”, they’re annoying, deluded, and/or misinformed. Even if I could get away with only doing the particular Domme activities that I like, I wouldn’t want to be doing them with a 60-year-old Wall Street banker I have nothing in common with, and I know that they know that on some level. It’s my job to pretend otherwise, and constantly pushing me to ‘do what I want’ makes that job harder.

You also seem to have missed the opening paragraph, wherein I state that this isn’t my dream job. Very, very few people are doing the job they want to do, and this is especially true in the sex industry, where the flexible hours, high pay, and low barrier to entry often make it the best option for women like me who don’t have degrees and struggle with chronic illness. Your insistence that I enjoy my job, goddamnit, is dismissive, entitled, and frankly ridiculous, as you’d never put that demand on your barista or your dog-walker.

Finally, if it wasn’t clear, *these are not sentiments I express to clients.* Most of the men who pay me for my time don’t know me as Lori Adorable, and as far as they’re aware, every second I spend with them is pure kinky, erotic bliss. This is me letting off steam so they don’t have to see it, which is definitely a “particularly attractive value proposition,” so you can save your tears. But a few clients DO know about ‘Lori Adorable’, and it turns out they’re mature enough to understand the nature of our interactions and to not be offended by the fact that I’m a full human being with interests other than their weird boners and feelings that might not always be sunshine and roses. And guess what? I actually do mostly enjoy my time with them, even if I don’t walk away with my panties soaked from putting them in a pair of diapers.

Absolutely, the vast majority of the words out of my mouth when I’m working are completely false. I have zero issues lying to clients/customers, especially when it makes them happy, and typically, happy date = safer date. I mentioned female ejaculation specifically because it’s something I can’t fake; either it happens or it doesn’t. A problem I still don’t always know how to navigate is when to fake pleasure if what they’re doing is not exactly painful but definitely uncomfortable, and at what point do I have to let reality in and tell them to chill the fuck out with the fingering/thrusting/licking/other.

Well, I can’t answer for the author of this piece, Lori Adorable, but I myself work as a pro-switch and these are my thoughts:

“…is it possible that the client is simply looking for an “interaction” where he does not know or has not prescribed the activities and sequence?”

Yeah, it’s possible (and if the domme is skilled and has a little knowledge of and chemistry with her client, many sessions are like this anyway). Sessions are often dynamic, and I try to give my submissive clients the feeling of being truly helpless, controlled, or dominated. Also, any smart domme knows that you have to shake it up a little and keep it interesting and exciting for the client if you want him to come back and keep spending money.

It’s POSSIBLE…but clients who want to be totally surprised and controlled (within certain guidelines, of course) for the duration of the session sit down with me and have a reasonable conversation about that first. They are DIFFERENT and it is easy to recognize their sincerity.

95% of the clients who insist that they “only” want to do what “mistress” wants are, indeed, passive-aggressive, emotionally needy jerks who are playing games. They don’t want to be controlled. They want validation and they want to make you jump through hoops. The author is totally correct in her assessment.

MM

Hi! I’m glad you liked the comment and I hope you enjoy my blog. I’ve written a lot about being a pro-switch and it’s all under the tag label “The Biz,” if you’re interested.

I love your writing and have read all your columns in this blog.

xo

Margo