A person who pays for sexual experiences is unlikely to be sexually sophisticated. They are analogous to someone who has a fridge full of bud. but occasionally splurges at a well-stocked wine boutique.. The seller can potentially shape the client’s wants. Ideally, the client feels the seller is showing them the alternative of a better, more sophisticated experience, rather than rejecting the client’s wants.

Of course, easier said than done.

The same mindset (though different in degree maybe) is present in colleges (expensive private colleges, anyway) where rich kids expect professors, librarians, and probably everyone to do their bidding because “my dad pays your salary!”

Ohhhh my god just have to echo here. The clients I have the best time with are NEVER the ones who say this crap. I’ve actually turned down work if people write me too much nonsense first about how they’re going to please me. It’s my job to make sure you have fun, it is NOT my job to convince you with my entire body that you’re great at sex, even if you’re not my cup of tea.

I feel like Sex Work is the only place where many clients prefer to go to someone who does not offer something and badger the worker for it rather than simply go to someone who DOES offer it. It’s like part of the fun is getting someone to offer something they normally don’t, and that it’s chopped away if you go see an escort rather than getting a stripper/dom/massuse to offer it.

But re. guys who don’t know someone doesn’t do anal/condom-less blow-jobs before booking and then pressure someone, I think there are parallels in other professions…

Doctor: I got really irritated by a GP who refused to renew basic prescriptions for allergies, birth control, mental health, etc. that I’d been taking for years, and referred me to specialists. I definitely pressured my doctor to be “full-service,” and then ended up switching to another doctor who was more open to doing comprehensive care-stuff. My guess is this happens a lot with doctors who refuse to prescribe pain medication or go beyond basic health-care; “nurse-practitioners” at CVS clinics who can only do basic-common-illnesses; psychiatrists who don’t believe in barbituates or stimulants or…

Child-care provider: it seems really common for families to do “add-ons” to child-care providers: watch our kids & tidy up & cook small meals for them becomes “can you start dinner for the family” or “would you mind running a load of laundry for us” or “can you pick up some stuff from the grocery store on your way to picking up sally?” Almost all of my friends who went to work as “au-pairs” wound up spending half of their time doing cleaning and cooking stuff, and working overhours…

Any starter-position: It seems like almost any starter-job can come with a million add-ons that aren’t even work-related; like as an editorial intern, I’ve done everything from picking up dry-cleaning to cleaning out the fridge to getting lunch for everyone.

“I find it difficult, sometimes, to assure clients that they are respected and valued as clients without acknowledging that I am also doing a job.”

Yes! I struggle with this all the time! My marketing/niche is especially girlfriendy and some clients don’t understand that despite the fact that I like them and enjoy spending time with them, I do have other things going on in my life, and am there because I’m getting paid. This comes up the most when I’m trying to get out the door and a client doesn’t understand why I don’t want to stay for longer (off the clock) or when clients email or text me endlessly trying to keep in touch instead of just booking time with me. All I can do is gently suggest booking me or compensating me for the extra time if they want me to stay, because I can’t counteract the persona I’ve built as an available and perfect temporary girlfriend.

And don’t be concerned with alienating clients, this is our space! Maybe they’ll learn to be better clients.

YES. I much prefer when clients are just very specific in session about what I can do for THEIR PLEASURE rather than go through this self-aggrandizing dance

I hate the “your pleasure” bullshit. While I do enjoy sex with clients and honestly prefer it that way, it’s just not going to happen if you’re twice my age, half my size and have ED. Not biologically possible. Which is why you’re paying me.

Just have to finally say it.

I have to echo what Gia said. It’s as if clients sometimes develop a temporary amnesia between when the transaction takes place and when the service starts. Like when they say “But what about YOUR pleasure – what do YOU like?” I like money and shit-tonnes of it, sweetheart – that’s why I’m here! Duh.

Thankfully, the vast majority of my clients today seem to be able to be honest enough with themselves to admit it’s a transaction. I dunno why, I guess I’ve gotten much better at screening and intuitive character judgement, but I don’t encounter anywhere near the number of assholes I did when I was starting out.