Comments on: How You Can Tell That Your New, Perfect, Accepting Partner Isn’t All That Accepting (Or Perfect)

By: Charlie

Charlie — Wed, 17 Jan 2018 20:20:25 +0000

Thanks for writing this!
So much resonates with past relationships with civies and all good things to keep in mind as a single SW starting to date (for free) again <3 <3

By: Davina

Davina — Thu, 15 Jun 2017 02:22:54 +0000

In reply to sam.

Hey Sam – I just wanted to ask out of curiosity, where is your partner from? Honestly what pops into my mind as a first guess is Netherlands, or maybe Germany or another European country. The boys I grew up with sound much the same…and in fact the men I come across in local bars as an adult are not all that different either.

By: Dalaila Rose

Dalaila Rose — Sat, 13 May 2017 23:08:47 +0000

#6 really helped me with a recent breakup, where the guy was super butthurt about me starting cam work immediately after breaking up. I tried to explain that the “sexting” I was doing with clients was nowhere near as intimate as what I had done with him, I was just sending a few nudes throughout the day to cheer someone up at work, & he responded “Great, something you never did for me.” & blocked me. The thing was… I had done that for him. 3 weeks earlier. But even if I hadn’t… so what? He never asked.
Anyway, as a newly single baby camgirl, basically all the guys & girls I’ve outed myself to have said they were fine with my occupation, or if it bothered them, it still wasn’t a dealbreaker. I know some of them will probably have a problem with it later on, & I have to be ready for that bullshit.

By: Darwin

Darwin — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 16:17:09 +0000

This article is amazing! A must-read for a lot of souls out there to get another important perspective.

By: Hoey Hoey

Hoey Hoey — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 07:42:39 +0000

I find this dynamic not only with romantic partners, but friends as well. Civilians really, really don’t understand. I’m struggling right now with having a mostly civilian queer feminist group of friends that seem to glamorize escorting as in #2. They love hearing about my pegging clients or domming them. They don’t want to hear about my having to grind through being called racist slurs or clients that are so rough they leave me unable to work for a couple of days. I’m starting to question if this is healthy for me at all because I feel very isolated and objectified by them. My sex worker friends do not act like this but they are all so far away right now so I have no local support system.

By: HopefullyNotThatGuy

HopefullyNotThatGuy — Tue, 31 Jan 2017 20:56:03 +0000

Hi, I was direct here thanks to a friend of mine who works with sex workers. I asked her for advice since a stripper I know has expressed interest in dating me and I wanted more information on the do’s and don’ts of relationships with sex workers.

So thank you for writing this and hopefully if I do end up dating her this will allow me to be a better partner for her.

By: Lilah

Lilah — Tue, 31 Jan 2017 04:05:22 +0000

Story of my (former) relationship with a misogynistic fuckboy who used my profession in every way possible to benefit himself while oppressing me and shaming me so that he could justify his garbage personality and horrendous cheating and abuse.

They love to use the pros of your job to make themselves look less raggedy in front of their associates while using your Super-Glamour-Hoe status (they invented) to compare their new girlfriends to you in order to continue the fuckery.

It’s much better to be single than to run the risk of these garbage-fire-scum buckets getting anywhere past the word “Hi”.

Fuck all of them and I hope they suffer.

By: sam

sam — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 23:49:03 +0000

Oh how I wish I read this 15 years ago! Thank you for sharing your stories. Validating and insightful. The continuum of violence against sex workers by intimate partners is so real. At the agency I work with, 5 women had been murdered in the past 10 years – all by boyfriends.

I finally feel like I found a good partner, in large part because he is from a country were sex work is legalized and being a client is normalized. He lost his virginity to a sex worker, and his social life as a young person involved trips to a brothel. This seems way healthier than the boys I grew up with – football players who were sent messaging that they had free, unfettered access to female bodies, especially if they were drunk. I really feel as a client my partner was able to experience the labor of sex work – and learned to respect it.

By: Cheyenne

Cheyenne — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 23:46:06 +0000

Excellent article. 🙂

By: Amanda Brooks

Amanda Brooks — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 21:51:58 +0000

I thought #2 was going to be the “Why aren’t you acting as nice and cheerful with me as you do with your clients?” version of not being allowed to have a bad day. Or having human emotions.