One guy wrote a “review” of me that complained about me giving him 1/3 extra time for free – he literally complained about TOO MUCH time (30 min of which was FREE). He also called my room a “generic hotel room” – a suite at a mid-high level chain, on the club floor. I had actually moved from another because he had complained about my first hotel being too far away for his purposes. For some reason I actually decided to respond to his “please stay on the other side of town” pleas, I think because we’d corresponded on several visits but kept missing each other, and in a spasm of generosity told him I’d go out of my way to change my plans because of his enthusiasm. I actually had to cut my visit at the first hotel short by a day (he knew that I’d have to do this, and the hotel did agree without penalty, but it’s something they don’t typically do), tipped bellmen coming and going, drove across town, got set up again at the second location, etc etc. I even moved a few other clients I had scheduled over to that location, the direct opposite side of town (why I did any of this, in retrospect, is a mystery to me, but at the time I think I felt some misdirected obligation just because he’d routinely contacted me on several prior visits). He also knew beforehand what hotel I would be in after moving, and agreed before I even reserved it that oh yes, it was nice and in a great part of town, fantastic, wonderful, thank you so much for going to all this trouble over me… But afterward, in order to cover up his real reason for being ultimately disappointed (he couldn’t talk me into services I clearly say upfront I don’t offer), he had to pretend SOMETHING was actually wrong. So “generic hotel room” it was. The mental imagery with “generic hotel room” is “cheap motel”. And he knew that was exactly what the average person would think when he wrote it. Never mind at the time the city had few if any truly unique boutique style hotels. So ANY hotel was going to be “generic”, even if expensive and nice (mine was both of those things). As if I was somehow responsible for mass produced hotel art and furniture.

As far as his “too much time” weirdness, he’d acted oddly antsy during the appt, and I’d soothed him softly with it’s ok, slow down, I’m in no rush… Yet afterward he ironically reviewed me poorly BECAUSE there was “too much time”. He wasn’t late for an appointment afterward, he just didn’t want the service I actually state up front is the whole point of my appointments, massage. He reviewed a different provider after me who, so he said, advertised “massage” but was actually an escort (which he openly admitted made him happy since that was his only real – stated – priority) and he actually complimented her on only spending 15 minutes of the hour with him, further explaining that he doesn’t like the “pretense” of the massage anyway. He went even further in that review to elaborate that he schedules only with providers who advertise massage, even though he doesn’t actually want massage (some sort of nonsensical delusion that he’s seeing the “nice” or “inexperienced” girl is the only explanation I’ve been able to think of). I kid you not, his thought process was like the negative of a photo, 100% backwards in every imaginable way. Who says “give me the shortest appointment possible, please”? Yet there he was, writing it in my review, her review, and a lot of other reviews as well. Despite him being a lawyer and me a CMT, he also said that I was “too much into being a CMT”. It left me wondering if anyone ever tells him at work he’s “too much into being a lawyer”? The sad part of all of it is that with his “up is down, and down is up” weirdness, he singlehandedly DESTROYED my schedule, wholly and instantaneously. The difference wasn’t just partial, it was very nearly 100%.

Sorry for all the detail, but while I’ve gotten more legitimate bad reviews here and there for people for whom I simply wasn’t their cup of tea, a bad day on my part or theirs, etc, this was the first time I’d been criticized for something inarguably GOOD. And this is significant to me because of all the comments I’ve heard and read about clients taking an “overall average”, or only seeing a provider if she has “at least a few bad reviews” — I saw no evidence of ANY of that. As nonsensical as this “bad review” of me was, you’d think that other guys would have read it and thought “he’s criticizing her for giving him free time, what a nut, I never get ENOUGH time”, but the reality is that they all, including the lurkers, decided en masse against scheduling simply because one illogical “hobbyist” said “provider bad”. There was no “thinking”, critical or otherwise, on the part of ANYONE to consider if what he characterized as “bad” would actually be “good” by the standards of literally anyone else.

It wasn’t until I took all reviews down that everything started to equalize. Prior to his nonsense I had six pages of reviews, nearly every single one of which said things like “best massage of my life” (of course, TER would dial down the ratings from 8-10 to a 7, their max for FBSM). When he posted, my schedule instantly disappeared, whoosh, like the air out of a popped balloon. With me sitting in a beautiful but very expensive suite, there wasn’t the luxury of keeping calm, as everything was make it or break it in a matter of hours, not weeks or months.

That was the wakeup call that prompted me to delist myself. I could have called tons of real clients to request legitimate reviews, but by then I’d realized the undertow was always going to be there, no matter how hard you fight to tread water. The 57 perfect and 2 average reviews that I had going back 2 years meant nothing, only the most recent one, no matter how illogical, mattered to anyone. And even before that “bad” review I’d occasionally had “good” reviews that would say things like “only massage for me, but it may be YMMV next time or for you” (or 8-10 rated reviews that TER staff would randomly forget to edit down to a 7, then the unedited rating would not only make all the 7 reviews look “bad” by comparison but would give guys all the sliver of hope they needed to believe that ONE time I gave THAT guy “extras”). Of course even the slightest hint of “YMMV” sets off a cavalcade of inaccurate expectations, awkward appointments, disappointments, the potential for more undeservedly bad reviews…

I’ve since had to “delist” a few more new stragglers here and there. But I get a kick out of clients who think the “best and brightest” are the superstars on TER. I’ve since seen comments elsewhere about me that “I saw the bad reviews she used to have on TER” regarding my original 6 pages worth – by some guy who actually thought that “7” for an FBSM provider was “bad”. That person was halfheartedly set straight by someone else, but I’m sure he reflects the flawed thinking of so many more out there, that a review can say “best of my life” but have a numerical rating of “7”, and, not having actually read the words or educated themselves via the FAQ that a 7 is the MOST I could get, they just assume “bad”.

I’d rather have a steady, reliable small number of appointments than one week be flying high with several a day, only to get used to that volume, take a chance on a more expensive location to live up to the reputation and volume, then be knocked down to no appointments and left holding the bag. The roller coaster of insanity never ends with reviews.

Thank you for the grounded post. Even though I delisted a few years ago, I still am interested in this topic because of how it so engrained in our business now, as Serpent brought up in her post. I hope to see continued conversations about reviews, how to improve them (as a system), and how to offer alternatives to them for those seeking more discretion.

Best,

xoM

As I peruse escort reviews, I actually find some (less than 1/4) so-so or negative reviews to be a good sign. When someone has only 3 reviews, all glowing, I wonder if they are real.