I’m not as in love with the part of my life that paid for my education. I feel like it’s a very oppressive industry and that we are judged very harshly when we leave that world. It’s very complicated. I loved the showmanship of being a feature entertainer. I loved the stage, the costumes, the pole (I really miss pole dancing). I do not miss the majority of the men. There were some very lovely customers I am grateful to have met, but the majority were misogynistic pigs. I also love the women that, many of which, are still some of my dearest friends.

I developed a very fractured perception of my body and sexuality when I left dancing. Somewhere along the way, my mind because a separate entity from my body. The two don’t seem intrinsic in my psyche and my body is a place a very broken perception of sexuality and pleasure. It’s been terribly damaging and I need to undergo fairly extensive therapy to reconcile that issue. But that’s my experience, I’m sure everyone is different.