Comments on: Both A Mother And A Whore

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 14 May 2016 02:59:39 +0000

In reply to Juniper Fitzgerald.

Lol!! Indeed it is… I’m thinking jackboots or cameltoe…

By: Juniper Fitzgerald

Juniper Fitzgerald — Fri, 13 May 2016 16:30:58 +0000

In reply to Sarah. "Paternalistic toe" is such vivid imagery, though!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 09 May 2016 19:25:22 +0000

– I meant “tone” not “toe”. Lol!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 09 May 2016 19:24:39 +0000

“Common Sense” is also incredibly infantilizing. Silly girl, just straighten up and quit your silliness. You can almost hear the paternalistic/maternalistic toe in their voices when you read such comments. “Don’t step out of line and everything will be fine.” So incensing.
I read this recently, very prescient: http://uproxx.com/life/finley-fawn-sex-work-custody/

By: Natalia

Natalia — Mon, 09 May 2016 11:29:39 +0000

In reply to AndreaCanuck.

I wholeheartedly agree with your post – and laughed out loud at the uncombed hair part…it takes me back to my Mother chastising me for hurriedly brushing my hair while walking down the street as a young teenager…when I asked her what the problem was, she relied ‘It makes you look like a certain type of woman!’ Hahahaha…now I know what she was driving at… : ) I still wander about with a hedge on my head and yesterdays clothes on, but it didn’t make me any friends with other mothers in the playground…Boden Mums look aghast, unsure whether they should call the police or the social services first.. its not hard to be a freak in England. You just have to take your shoes off. So, lets keep pushing back with our own innate sense of wildness, after all, I would rather be rejected than subjugated if those are the only options available under the current system. Love to all wild whore-mother-delightful humans out there….

By: AndreaCanuck

AndreaCanuck — Sun, 08 May 2016 12:00:20 +0000

A brilliant and touching piece. As progressive as we think we are, we are still stuck in the 1850’s regarding the way women/mothers are presented and dealt with by society. And this cuts across all socio economic echelons. Try having a job/profession/interests that aren’t distinctly feminine ie. the trades. Whore. Try opting out of endlessly sitting around and drinking wine and going to the spa or being a constant mom taxi. Try skipping playgroups. Try hanging out with men who aren’t your relations (dad, brother, husband). Whore. Try going out in public with uncombed hair or driving a car that’s below your socio-economic status. Or wearing the same clothes two days in a row. Try going out looking great. Whore. Or having a messy house. Or swearing. Or having a conversation that doesn’t bash your husband, talk about weight loss or what you’ve bought lately. Or encouraging your daughter to stand up for herself (when you know damn well she’s going to be punished for that). The paradox is this: It’s not all men bashing women, other women do a helluva job of that, too. After all, if they have to play by the rules, shouldn’t you? The highly-divisive pitting of men against women (and vice versa) poisons everything. How can we expect to move forward if each is always ‘the other’?