Comments on: Bad Advice From “Ask A Dude”

By: Bettie

Bettie — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 04:10:48 +0000

I will concede that it is possible then. I don’t want anyone reading this thinking it’s going to be their reality though, you guys are exceptions, not the rule. Anything is possible, but not everything is likely. I do have clients I think are wonderful, and I keep in touch with them off the clock, checking in when they’ve mentioned a health issue or whatever, but the kind of friendship I am reading about here just has not come about. I have only been working a few years though, so who knows? I definitely like having a line between my work life and my…life-life. Different strokes I suppose.

By: Cecilia

Cecilia — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 03:42:53 +0000

I understand what a real friend is and yes, these men know my real name, my home town, my parents’ names, my siblings real names & professions (one of them has met my entire family), my home address, my real/main phone number, etc. And yes, we spend time together (lunch, movies, etc) for free, off the clock – I take no money from them in any way, nor favors of any kind beyond what any friend might do for another. We don’t flirt, talk about sex (in regard to our relationship, anyway), play head games or want anything from each other beyond friendship – not money, not sex, not attention, sexual validation, etc.

They are genuine friends, exceptionally savvy, evolved, enlightened, liberal, respectful, cool as fuck men who just happen to “get it.” Like I said, incredibly rare.

Now, I have never taken a close friend and THEN made him a client. But have had acquaintances (twice) become clients. One still is a client (as well as a friend, one I expect to have for life), and the other is back to being an acquaintance (but a closer one, more of a “friendly acquaintance” now). Both these men know my real name, address, phone number and personal history. One is a doctor, the other a real estate broker. I bump into one of them at Whole Foods all the time and the other stops by to chat whenever he’s in the neighborhood.

Seriously, I do know this is rare. But so am I.

By: The Weekly Unwrap | Tits and Sass

The Weekly Unwrap | Tits and Sass — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 21:02:29 +0000

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By: Charlotte Shane

Charlotte Shane — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 13:08:09 +0000

Becoming friends with someone after you knew them on a professional basis is completely different than turning non-professional acquaintances into clients. I cannot imagine how strange it would be to rely on my pre-existing male friendships as a pool for guys who pay me for sex. (Granted, the letter writer probably wouldn’t call the guy she was sleeping with a “friend” since she doesn’t even like him.) But I think those of you saying “clients can become friends!” are missing the point of the original advice, which was the reverse: turn your (shitty) friend into your client.

By: Thais

Thais — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 11:41:02 +0000

Yes, friends means “people who know your real name and you spend time with outside work without requiring some sort of compensation”. I have several of them after approximately 4 years of escorting (now retired – and yes, they remain friends). And I know at least a couple of other escorts who have at least one such friend as well.
So perhaps, it is not an absolute exception – but a question of one’s circle and attitude.

By: Bettie

Bettie — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 21:02:08 +0000

I understand the desire to remind folks that it is in fact possible to be friends with clients, but you do realize you are the absolute exception and definitely not the rule, right? And when you say friends do you mean awesome clients you are friendly with, or do you mean people who know your real name and you spend time with outside work without requiring some sort of compensation, because that’s what I’m talking about when I say friends.

By: Art

Art — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 18:16:30 +0000

Just like to say, I have to agree with CECILIA. It is possible for Dancers/Custys to become true friends, very rare, but it happens. I fall into the client side of this argument, but like CECILIA said it must involve “very mature, very honest, very self-aware people.” Just like to add must be excepting of the boundaries, between work and private lives, and maybe the most important thing of all RESPECT. Without respect for yourself, and the dancers how can a true friendship ever really form, let alone make it.
I am very happy and proud to be a client in the “rare” category who has made true friendships with dancers. Some of them even live in other states now, and are retired from dancing, but they are still my friends and I am theirs. I do run off don’t I? Just wanted to say “Yes, CECILIA I agree with you. 🙂

By: Cecilia

Cecilia — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 22:53:20 +0000

Most of your post is spot on but I’d like to add this. That it is, in fact, quite possible to have clients turn into friends, genuine TRUE friends. It’s incredibly rare and has to involve two very mature, very honest, very self-aware people. It’s incredibly rare. It is, however, quite possible.

I don’t recommend anyone try it who doesn’t have many years experience with escorting AND many years learning about human nature in general (their own included). I have both, and the number of clients I call my friend (past & current clients, because both are possible) can be counted on one hand, and it took many years to get to that place, in most cases.