Comments on: An Open Letter to the Extras Girl

By: pissed off stripper

pissed off stripper — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 11:02:00 +0000

So I’m a stripper, just got off work, and I had just an awful night. To sum it up short, there’s this extras girl that I work with that’s been stepping on my toes since I started at my club about 6 months ago. Unless it’s a slow day, when I’m not working with her I come out with anywhere from $200-$400 on a decent night, and roughly $500-$1000 on a good night. Maybe not every single time, but a lot of the time when I work the same night as her I make way less than I normally would. Every time I’m talking to a customer and I go on stage or I step aside for just a minute to do something, she swoops in and usually manages to get them in to a champagne room within the first song or two of my stage set, after I had just spent several minutes, maybe even an hour charming this client into bringing me in a room.
Tonight was an extremely slow and dead night for everyone there, aside from the several hundred dollars (at least) that two of the extras girls there made, one being the girl that’s been stepping on my toes. Anyway, this guy had been buying me drinks and chatting me up for maybe 10-20 minutes and was super digging me. I had him in the palm of my hands until extra girl came over, grabbed his dick at the bar, and told him he needed to take her into a room so she could “give him a happy ending” as she so put it. Moments after that, I get called on stage, and within the first song of my set I see them heading in to the champagne rooms.
Here’s the thing, I don’t judge nor do I hold anything against girls that offer extra services. I personally don’t see why a woman or man shouldn’t be able to offer those services, as long as they stay safe and respect their own boundaries (in other words, sticking to doing what they’re comfortable with). Offering extra services is one thing, but swooping in and stealing my regulars and clients I’ve already been investing my time in is unacceptable and completely goes against basic stripper etiquette.
Any thoughts?

By: Erin

Erin — Mon, 23 Jan 2017 05:31:19 +0000

In reply to mistressmatisse. Matisse, You are so spot on with this, as with the rest of the comments of yours that I have read. You have hit the actual nail, rather than hammering all around. There have been many important opinions stated by everyone from all their different perspectives and some points seem more serious or emotional and stand out from the fray. But the dichotomy of the sex worker and the *pimp (read corporate/club owners) is THE point at the center of this whole web. They set the stage, create disunity, collect undeserved fees and percentages of our money (often through extortion), don't provide healthy working conditions, don't offer enough protection against aggressive and rude guests and even get us to police ourselves through whore shaming. If there is anyone who feels that there is even more to be derived from this, so far enlightening, discourse beyond sharing our opinions and bringing difficult issues to light, I would love to talk with anyone who is seriously interested in creating a plan that services all of us (stripper and escort alike) over and above the corporations and moral authorities that have us under their boots and penned in legal or illegal shaming corners. In many ways we are disenfranchised as an industry, while at the same time still reaping enough benefits that we still choose this over other professions. I feel this paradox acutely and chronically. I'm thinking of a more cohesive banding together of strippers state wide or even nation wide where we begin to set our own standards. I also envision a legal platform for escorts or prostitutes to work from, that would no doubt take time and momentum, much like the movement to legalize marijuana. I know positive things and lots of money can come from all of us sex workers putting our heads together and working for and with each other as an industrial unit that strives for monetary and sexual autonomy.

By: Erin

Erin — Mon, 23 Jan 2017 03:44:20 +0000

In reply to mistressmatisse. Thank you so much for your wise perspective on the industry and the general economics truths.

By: Rain

Rain — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 10:33:24 +0000

In reply to Caty Simon. No one is being whorephobic, if u wanna be an escort KEEP IT OUT OF THE STRIP CLUB because it makes it hard for STRIPPERS to earn money. Customers feel like a dance isn't even with $20 anymore , when they can get a blow job for the same price.

By: Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com — Sat, 07 Sep 2013 01:14:10 +0000

[…] published a few articles that led to a raging online debate within the community about what we call “extras girls.” I read tons of entries by women either defending being extras girls, or attacking it. Personally, I […]

By: Dear Stripper: How Do I Get Extras? | Thought Catalog

Dear Stripper: How Do I Get Extras? | Thought Catalog — Sat, 07 Sep 2013 00:54:15 +0000

By: DIRTY DANCING, THE BODY POLITICS OF LAP-DANCING CLUBS | everyday whorephobia

Thu, 22 Aug 2013 20:44:30 +0000

[…] came across this article which caused quote a stir, and I was shocked to see just how many dancers were defending […]

By: Dirty Dancing, the body politics of lap-dancing clubs | plasticdollheads

Dirty Dancing, the body politics of lap-dancing clubs | plasticdollheads — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 13:06:04 +0000

[…] came across this article which caused quote a stir, and I was shocked to see just how many dancers were defending […]

By: Eff

Eff — Tue, 20 Aug 2013 21:21:05 +0000

I used to hate Extras Girls. I used to rant and rant against them. But they are the business now. They are exotic dancing. I’ve been to many different clubs. It’s the same everywhere. Some do it in the club, some do it outside the club…but the result is all the same. So for the clubs that have strict no-touch rules and enforce them…….the sexual favors are just happening outside your building and you aren’t profiting from it.
The Extras Girl drives the exotic dance industry. Girls offer sexual favors to customers to “get rich.” They offer sexual favors to management/owners to make it on flyers and billboards. Hey, it’s the SEX industry!
I’m not excusing these individuals, mind you. They are lawbreakers and pigs. But stripping is a vicious pyramid scheme, with dancers on the bottom and club owners on top.
Plus, let’s be honest – so-called “lap dancing” is nothing more than a dry hump, a cock grind, a SEXUAL ACT. In many clubs girls are told not to grind hard against customers’ crotches, yet this is what’s expected. You can’t sell a dance with no contact. In some clubs I worked at, if you didn’t let customers grope your breasts, you got no more than one dance and consequently made no money working there.
It’s the nature of the beast, chickens. And us strippers allowed this decades ago, when we agreed to paying clubs to work there. When we agreed to “private dances” and such. Everyone was greedy…..and now we’re all paying the price.

By: Gypsy

Gypsy — Thu, 23 May 2013 13:49:02 +0000

Its a big assumption to say only women in poverty ect would give extras.