The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time: Rock and Classics Regions

by Bubbles on March 21, 2013 · 4 comments

in Naked Music Monday, Strippers


Here comes the next contestant

Yesterday, we opened voting in the Hip Hop/R&B and Dance/Pop brackets to begin selecting The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time. Today, voting opens in the Rock and Classics brackets. You can vote in all four until midnight (PST) Sunday. Here’s the full bracket, and here’s a Spotify playlist with (nearly) all the songs.

The Rock bracket is stocked with songs that have held on to constant play for years. Rammstein, White Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Pantera, Danzig. I’m unclear on who decided that “Pepper” and “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” were perfect for the strip club, but both still get regular play. It was, and I’m laughing as I’m typing this, difficult to decide on which Nickelback song to include, but after some dressing room conversations with coworkers, it’s clear that “Shakin’ Hands” is the standout.

The Classics bracket is for songs that are old enough to drink. The youngest song in this bracket is Duran Duran’s “Come Undone,” from 1993. This region is heavy with hair metal songs that are shorthand for “stripper,” like “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” a very strong 1 seed, and “Girls, Girls, Girls.” It also has the mysteriously enduring tracks “Cry Little Sister,” the theme from “Lost Boys.”


“Hot For Teacher” has never gone out of style.

Vote now, and come back on Monday to see who’s moving on.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Elle March 22, 2013 at 4:41 pm

I voted. Is it bad that I hate all the choices?

I’m such a Portland stripper.


Bubbles March 22, 2013 at 10:11 pm

No, it’s not bad! We aren’t voting on musical merit, bear in mind, but on their appropriateness and endurance in the strip club. I do have a soft spot for “Pussy Control.”


M. Keep March 22, 2013 at 9:46 pm

<3 Ragdoll. It came on the radio today.

I love dancing to that.


Wendy March 22, 2013 at 10:02 pm

I love a lot of the choices and I’ve been a Portland stripper for most of my “career.”


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