music

There was a long time when I first started working as a strip club DJ when I’d engage in small talk with customers. Almost always it led to them saying “You must have the best job in the world!” It was hard to understand why. I don’t have benefits. Trying to get days off is a daunting effort, and when I have to cover for another DJ I am yelled at for reaching overtime. I’m the whipping boy of management and certain dancers. Then the slow realization dawns of why they think it’s so great: I get to look at naked women all day.

So I wonder what they’d think if they knew they were talking to a fag (well, queer male, in the Rainer Werner Fassbinder/Paul Bowles sense. I’m attracted to women romantically and intellectually, but mostly sleep with men) who remains pretty indifferent to all the nudity. But since I don’t really want to discuss any more with them, or ruin any part of the illusion that comes with the territory, I nod and say “Yup,” then proceed back to my booth.

I’ve worked at two different clubs and there’s not much to the job. I come in, turn on the sound equipment and lights, put music on shuffle and wait out the day until I can clock out, chatting with the dancers or staff when free or not reading a book. I’m not out to my coworkers by any means for fear of being fired. In an industry that hires solely on looks and can fire someone for such bullshit excuses as saying no to a drink when already very drunk or trying to signal a customer over from stage, I’m sure a queer man in a highly hetero male space would cause waves. [READ MORE]

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This is how it's done, ladies. (Image via the Tear Off Your Shirt Like Hulk Hogan Facebook page)

This is how it’s done, ladies. (Image via the Tear Off Your Shirt Like Hulk Hogan Facebook page)

Another day, another strip club in a music video that’s too good to be true. Then again, unlike Rihanna’s “Pour It Up,”  this one is actually too bad to be true. Today, we bring you Bruno Mars’s video for his new single, “Gorilla.” Apparently Mars and the director, Cameron Duddy, did an “exhaustive amount of research,” and determined that regular strip clubs are just too boring.  Duddy said, on record, that they would visit a club and have “one drink and leave.”

Gee, thanks guys.  [READ MORE]

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pouritup2Big news this week! Pop superstar extraordinaire Rihanna has changed careers. She’s finally going to pursue her true passion.

Rihanna became a stripper.
[READ MORE]

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As determined by you is “Closer,” which handily beat “Pour Some Sugar On Me” 61% to 39%. If you’d like to review its path, here’s the full bracket and here’s the Spotify playlist with all 64 songs. Thank you to everyone who voted.

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Fittingly, this championship game sees two songs that might as well be strip club furniture. I’ve heard them so often that they don’t even register as music anymore. First, from the Dance/Pop region, victorious over “Pony,” is Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer.”

And their opponent is “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” from the Classics region.

If you’d like to review their path to the championship game, you can see the full bracket here. Voting is open until midnight PST Sunday night and our champion will be announced Monday.

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