The Onion posted a story last Wednesday headlined “Stripper Thinks Customer Flirting With Her.” You can get the gist of it from the headline; it is funny for the first, most obvious reason, but also because it’s a little true and sometimes strippers do think customers see them as human. While increasingly vicious as its satire becomes reality at a depressing pace, The Onion is more often than not gentle towards strippers. While we normally have more unfunny shit anti-stripper humor to rant about than not, we also enjoy pointing out examples of stripper and strip club-based humor that don’t rely completely on dehumanizing or mocking us. I’m sorry to kill all the funny by talking about it, but to crib from a Flann O’Brien quote I just read in a discussion of satire, we’ll chance it. For once, it’s nice to read humor about strippers that doesn’t joke about us as dead bodies, talk about our deadbeat boyfriends, or play on our assumed lack of parental supervision.
The main trick The Onion utilizes is taking an accepted stripper artifice and running with it to an absurd literal conclusion. This contrasts with their mode of treating a non-event as a news story; for instance, Stripper In Dressing Room Ignores Girl Crying On Cell Phone or Stripper Who Said “No, I Don’t Have Any Body Spray” Was Lying would fit the format of their office stories, but they’re too strip club-specific to work for a broader audience as workplace jokes. The writers instead must deal with stereotypes in the same way they deal with those of athletes (“Pro Athlete Lauded For Being Decent Human Being”). As I looked through their stripper story archives, I was pleasantly surprised to realize their stripper jokes relied more on absurd literalism than mockery.* Here are the ten best of the bunch. [READ MORE]
Fittingly, this championship game sees two songs that might as well be strip club furniture. I’ve heard them so often that they don’t even register as music anymore. First, from the Dance/Pop region, victorious over “Pony,” is Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer.”
And their opponent is “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” from the Classics region.
If you’d like to review their path to the championship game, you can see the full bracket here. Voting is open until midnight PST Sunday night and our champion will be announced Monday.
And then there were four one seeds and a ten seed left. Readers, your final candidates. Voting is open until midnight TONIGHT and the championship match will be announced tomorrow with voting open until Sunday night. But let’s be honest, “Pony” or “Closer,” that’s the real contest. Here’s the full bracket if you’d like to review how the contest has played out up until now.
“Pony” and “Closer” continue to dominate their respective regions. Can “Drop It Like It’s Hot” credibly challenge “Pony?” “Fuck The Pain Away” has a reasonable shot at “Closer” thanks to its consistently strong showing, but I hope we aren’t deprived of a semifinal matchup between Ginuwine and Nine Inch Nails. “I Touch Myself” has pulled off a major upset of “Girls, Girls, Girls” to compete with “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for the Classics title, and the Rock region trends ever gothier as “The Beautiful People” and “More Human Than Human” face off.
Voting is open now until Thursday, when the Final Four will be announced.