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Stripper Music Monday: For When They Want To Watch Other Men’s Balls

Still from A League Of Their Own. If there's no crying in baseball then there's no crying at work.
Still from the film A League Of Their Own. Remind your customers that there’s no crying in baseball.

It’s that time of year again — the part of the year that I playfully refer to as sports season. For the next few weeks we’ll see an orgy of American sports converge — professional football, college football, preseason basketball, hockey, and of course, the World Series.

Any stripper will tell you that it’s definitely challenging  to sell a lap dance when The Big Game is on. The Big Game is like lap dance kryptonite. Sure, you might be standing there in a tiny little spandex outfit but the men on the big screen are also wearing spandex and, well, one must prioritize their spandex preferences.

The Week In Links: May 6

Stephen Soderbergh, director of The Girlfriend Experience, is coming out of early retirement to make a movie about a male stripper. Mr. Soderbergh, meet Ms. Fey: you two are both certifiably Obsessed With Sex Workers! Welcome to the club.

Kansas is (unsurprisingly) using trafficking rhetoric to push its (otherwise failed) attempts at restricting adult-oriented businesses.

Colorado is reconsidering its john schools bill.

Breaking news: pole dancers can be pretty amazing dancers.

India’s Supreme Court cites literature while affirming that prostitutes can be “women of very high character.”

Rwandan outreach workers explain “It was not an easy task to convince [sex workers] to abandon what they were doing and start this activity of collecting garbage from homes.”

If Your Blog Post is Journalism, My Lapdance is Art: The NY Fight Over Taxable Stripping

image via google

Albany strip club Nite Moves went before the New York Supreme Court today to appeal earlier rulings that the club owes taxes on money it has earned from cover charges and couch dance sales. Under New York tax laws, such charges are subject to taxes levied on places of amusement, like nightclubs, but the club claims they should be exempt as a theater of performing arts, like Broadway. Their main claim is that exotic dance is primarily art, and should be exempt as if it were ballet.

Oh, the hilarity! says one Village Voice blogger.

Under state law, “live dramatic or musical arts performances” like ballet have tax-exempt status. While lap dances are technically a “performance,” it’s a slightly less-refined form of dance than, say, any other form of “dance.”

Here’s how lap dances work: you pay a stripper roughly 25 bucks, depending on the strip club. She takes you to a dimly-lit backroom, puts you on a couch, pulls out her ta-tas and grinds her ass into your crotch for about 10 minutes. At its completion, you thank her, do your best to get the glitter and stripper stank off you, and hope your wife doesn’t find out. There is nothing artistic about it.

An Open Letter From A Detroit Extras Girl

by user wootam! on Flickr
by user wootam! on Flickr

This is one of three responses to Josephine’s “An Open Letter to the Extras Girl” that we’ll be running this week. First up is M, a dancer who, like Josephine, works in Detroit.

On a sweltering August afternoon in 2012, I walked through the impossibly heavy glass doors of the glitziest strip club in Detroit. I had done copious amounts of research on the strip clubs in the area, spending nearly a month scouring reviews online and taking trips to clubs in the area. This particular club was the shiniest and it was filled with executives, physicians and lawyers. Promises of riches sparkled like the strobe lights overhead. Even though I had never stripped before, I forged ahead, fearless. Go big or go home, that was my motto.

Looking back, I was somewhat naïve. I had no particular urgency to my sales pitch. I was simultaneously working my “normal” job and stripping. It wasn’t as though I couldn’t pay my bills. So I started with the thought that I would only dance, no extras whatsoever. Perhaps I was conceited enough to think that my pretty face, tight body, and educated mind would be enough to make me money. Unfortunately that notion was completely false.

When Exotic Dance Costumes Were Actually Costumes

When I came across (on tumblr) this old photo of a proud stripper, showing off her turquoise fringe satin jacket and the matching chaps that bare her French-cut tan lines, I had to know where and who it came from. These days, Rhonda B-Chaparro, aka Odd Artist, works more with melting and painting found plastic objects, but she used to have a business sewing exotic dance costumes.