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Today in Absolutely Horrible: SC Stripper Shot At Strip Club Denied Worker’s Comp

The strippers at Tits and Sass have gone on record as being, in general, in favor of independent contractor status for strippers, because we like working at will, not having to be on a rigid schedule, having the ability to travel and work when the whim strikes, not turn over most of our money to the club, and taking Schedule C deductions. There have been a lot of lawsuits filed by strippers seeking to get paid back wages from clubs, and what usually happens is they are determined to be employees (because, honestly, most clubs do treat dancers like employees, mandating shift times and other controls over work), they get paid a small settlement, and the strippers still working at the club or clubs named in the suit inevitably wind up paying more to the club than they did before.

However, the one time we’d actually WANT to see a court determine that a dancer had employee status, as, again, almost inevitably happens, the South Carolina Court of Appeals finds her to be an independent contractor. The reason she was seeking employee status? To collect worker’s compensation after she was SHOT IN THE CLUB in 2008. This is absolutely horrible.

Stripper Music Monday: It’s Initiation Time

Welcome to the club! (image via flickr user dustout)
Welcome to the club! (image via flickr user dustout)

Starting a new club is never easy. You have to contend with the management, the staff, and a whole new crowd of customers. It takes a while, but eventually you adapt to the new atmosphere. So long as you make it through the initiationthe unspoken way a tight group of strippers sometimes try to break the new girl in. Try to not to take it personally. Use the music you dance to as a passive-aggressive tool to protect yourselfand impress everyone in the process. Here’s how I do it.

Once I feel comfortable at my new club, I’ll begin requesting changes to my setlists. The retaliation begins when dancers giggle and request a couple of my freshly incorporated tracks into their stage sets during our shift together, as if it will get a rise out of me the way it riles them up, seeing stacks thrown at another dancer “ruining their song.” You know, “Pussy Liquor.” Their song.

When this situation occurs, I wait for my eyes to return to their proper position post-roll and gather songs from these dancers’ elementary school days, ensuring that they either don’t know them, or would never think to request them because it’s much too difficult to pout at yourself in the mirror as they’re played. The following list contains songs that aren’t necessarily obscure—but if the club DJ still used vinyl or CDs, these tracks’ albums would be the ones covered in dust.

The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time: Sweet Sixteen

stripperballWe’re down to the regional finalists in our contest to determine The Greatest Strip Club Song Of All Time! Congratulations to the top four in each region, and good luck! Here is the complete bracket and here is a Spotify playlist of the remaining sixteen contestants.

The Hip Hop/R&B region has played out in surprising fashion, with three double-digit seeds moving into the Sweet Sixteen. Unsurprisingly, “Pony” continues its domination of the field, next facing Khia’s ode to cunnilingus, “My Neck, My Back,” fresh off a decisive pounding of “Perfect Gentleman.” Telling a dude to go down  >  Captain
Save-a-ho.

The Week in Stripper Links

Maryland 4th Circuit Court upholds ruling that new restrictions on strip clubs are unconstitutional

Could be as huge as Oregon’s ruling 30 years ago that declared nude dance protected free speech. MD is one of the few states in the U.S. where clubs can have fully nude dancers and fully stocked bars.

Harry Potter, dubstep, pole dancing, cats.

You can download the dubstep remix of the Harry Potter theme to use when you dress like Hermione at work next Halloween.

Man steals $314 from stripper’s garter

The use of “garter belt” for garter annoys me. A garter belt has straps and holds up stockings. A garter is a single circular leg strap that holds on to money.

A great 3000-word Super Bowl stripper blog report from the Lodge in Dallas

Seattle strip club, under siege from local LE, uses the old “we create jobs!” defense in Stranger ad

Anna Nicole: The Opera opens in London

The costumes!

The Pussycat Lounge: not going away after all?

CL ad seeks underemployed attorneys to give lapdances and legal advice.

My Feeble Attempt at Writing About Drake’s Strip Club

drakememe

Tits and Sass is a Rihanna blog. This is a sound editorial decision Caty and I made a long, long time ago, and so far it has served us well. Tits and Sass has never been a Drake blog. Which isn’t to say we’re anti-Drake, we’re just not explicitly pro-Drake the same we are, say, pro-Rihanna. Recently, it came to our attention that Drake loves Rihanna, and we love Rihanna, so, therefore, we reluctantly give space to Drake. In any event, this is the internet, and you can’t just ignore something on the internet, because the internet will not allow it, the internet will force you to talk about it. So, here is the post in which we feebly acknowledge that Drake is opening a strip club. That’s right, you heard it here first, folks (actually, you probably didn’t).  Drake is opening a strip club. This is our post about it.