Silly Media Coverage

Strip club tourist reports comes in two main forms: I’m Not That Kind Of Guy and I’m Not A Guy. This week, I learned about a third type: I Was A Strip Club DJ For A Night, in the form of Eric Spitznagel’s “I Was (Almost) a Middle-Aged Strip Club DJ” for MTV Hive. Spitznagel went to Chicago’s Admiral Theater to shadow the club’s DJ for a night, and the results are fairly predictable, if a bit nastier than I was expecting. He feels old. He feels like a fish out of water. The girls have stage names that amuse him. They take off their clothes. He finds it fascinating that one of the dancers likes British indie rock, which means he’s definitely not following me or my stripper friends on Twitter, because jesus fuck, if there’s one thing strippers like, it’s Britpop.
I wasn’t terribly familiar with Spitznagel, so was surprised to find that a guy who wrote such a disingenuous piece on being a strip club DJ for a night has written two books about the porn industry and interviewed Charlie Sheen for Playboy. Such experience would seem to make a guy a little less inclined to be all “Whoah! Naked women and cheesy lines!” Apparently he’s considered a humor writer, though, so that explains the tone. [READ MORE]

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Oh, hello there. It’s such a surprise to run into you here, Clueless Journalist Who Successfully Pitched an Article About Prostitutes Which You Have No Idea How to Actually Deliver. I know how much you hate to do even the most basic amount of research about the huge, knotty subject you’ve cavalierly decided to tackle, so it’s refreshing that you’ve deigned to stop by Tits and Sass. I’ve been involved in the sex industry for about 9 years, which means I’ve had plenty of time to collect examples of the emails you send to solicit my time and expertise in order to support your own career, and boy, are they compelling. Time and time again, before even doing fifteen minutes of self-education, you get straight to the interview solicitation. Why try to learn on your own when there will surely be a bevy of call girls dying to tell you everything you need to know for free, right?

Here are the all the important points to include if you want to make it clear right away that you’re completely unqualified to say anything on the subject of prostitution.

1) You don’t want to “demonize” me. Color me impressed. We all know that famous aphorism about how good intentions reliably pave the way to magnificent results, so the ability to not hate me is the only credential you need in order to earn my trust. Plus, it’s federal law that journalists, like cops, have to tell you the truth if they’ve not got your best interests at heart, so I’m sufficiently reassured that you mean exactly what you say. [READ MORE]

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With the release of Magic Mike, the new Steven Soderbergh and Channing Tatum film that draws from Tatum’s real-life former sex industry career, articles on male strippers have become the next big thing this week. Here, five male strippers review the film, and here, male strippers in Vegas discuss their hopes that the film will help revive their industry.

If you haven’t heard enough about Channing Tatum, click here to see what he has to say about penis pumps.

Also inspired by Magic Mike‘s release, the Toronto Sun published a list of the eight most memorable stripper movies, and the L.A. Times listed their ten favorites (the Times’ list is more entertaining, FYI). Oh wait—there’s another one.

New York magazine published a tourist report on male strip club attire.

Here’s a short list of some other celebrities who used to strip, and a list of porn performers who have had successful mainstream acting careers. [READ MORE]

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Minnesota teen Mike Stone spammed adult performers on Twitter to find a prom date (if I’d gotten one of those messages, I would have blocked the kid, but it goes to show that spam works), and Megan Piper said yes. When his school heard about it, they forbid him from bringing her. What a buzzkill. Daily Show correspondent Jessica Williams interviewed the pair and a concerned area mother—who had some great sex ed tips—for a segment that aired last week, and we love it.

“And we all know that if you do something for a living, that’s all you ever do. Like how pro football players tackle everyone they see, and therefore would never be allowed at prom.”

 

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The MissTravel mascot thinks it's all fun and games, but she's going to have to suck cock inside each and every one of those monuments.

A friend of mine has been telling me for a while how much she hates Jezebel, but I’ll admit I usually like them. I don’t read the site religiously, but when I do, it’s rare that I find something totally off-base or stupid. But it happened yesterday, when I came across this piece by Lindy West on the newest sugar daddy site.

MissTravel.com is brought to us by the same guy (namely Brandon Wade) who brought us SeekingArrangement.com, SeekingMillionaire.com, and WhatsYourPrice.com. With MissTravel, Wade has tapped into yet another corner of the sugar daddy/baby market: Women who hope specifically for for the elegant vacations they imagine the modern courtesan taking.

“MissTravel.com is a travel dating website that matches generous travelers with attractive travel girls (or guys). If you are a frequent traveler you can easily search, find or meet a hot travel companion, sexy travel mate or beautiful travel buddy. And if you are an attractive travel lover who lacks the financial resources, we’ll match you with a traveling sponsor or help you earn frequent flyer miles you may redeem for free travel, free airline tickets and free hotel rooms. Best of all our website is 100% free for attractive men and women.”

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