Beach season is upon us, which means it’s time to exploit the opportunity to read trashy books free of judgement. Gone are the days when it was protocol to leave ashtrays out for your houseguests, but you’d have to hide your copy of Valley of the Dolls. Nope, these days sexless secretaries commuting in pantyhose and sneakers can ride public transit proudly rocking a real (not Kindle) copy of Fifty Shades, because she’s advertising her deeply buried kinky side.
If a terribly-written BDSM novel by a layperson is at the top of the bestseller list, I’m thinking ACTUAL sex workers can do better; or we can simply indulge in penning one of these cheesy hypothetical sex worker reads (warning, political incorrectness to follow).
The Hooker Booker: Sympathetic tale of a former escort who is washed up and is now a phone madam.
From Slippers to Stripper: A clichéd downward spiral tale about a classically trained ballet dancer who started stripping.
Whore in Times of War: The exploits of a traveling prostitute who follows areas of conflict to service sex-starved military men and United Nations workers.
Phone Sex Train Wrecks: A collection of phone sex blooper transcripts.
Highbrow Hooker: The story of a well-bred WASP whose is left to her own devices when her family disowns her.
Gold Digger Pulls the Trigger: A wronged sugar baby gets the ultimate revenge on her deceitful “daddy.”