Naked Music Monday

This is how it's done, ladies. (Image via the Tear Off Your Shirt Like Hulk Hogan Facebook page)

This is how it’s done, ladies. (Image via the Tear Off Your Shirt Like Hulk Hogan Facebook page)

Another day, another strip club in a music video that’s too good to be true. Then again, unlike Rihanna’s “Pour It Up,”  this one is actually too bad to be true. Today, we bring you Bruno Mars’s video for his new single, “Gorilla.” Apparently Mars and the director, Cameron Duddy, did an “exhaustive amount of research,” and determined that regular strip clubs are just too boring.  Duddy said, on record, that they would visit a club and have “one drink and leave.”

Gee, thanks guys.  [READ MORE]

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Still from A League Of Their Own. If there's no crying in baseball then there's no crying at work.

Still from the film A League Of Their Own. Remind your customers that there’s no crying in baseball.

It’s that time of year again — the part of the year that I playfully refer to as sports season. For the next few weeks we’ll see an orgy of American sports converge — professional football, college football, preseason basketball, hockey, and of course, the World Series.

Any stripper will tell you that it’s definitely challenging  to sell a lap dance when The Big Game is on. The Big Game is like lap dance kryptonite. Sure, you might be standing there in a tiny little spandex outfit but the men on the big screen are also wearing spandex and, well, one must prioritize their spandex preferences. [READ MORE]

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pouritup2Big news this week! Pop superstar extraordinaire Rihanna has changed careers. She’s finally going to pursue her true passion.

Rihanna became a stripper.
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thewayoutA friend sent me this video last week, rightly pegging it as relevant to my interests. The song is “The Way Out” by Porcelain Raft, the performing name of multi-instrumentalist Mauro Remiddi. It is expansive and atmospheric electronic pop that might be a little too downbeat for a packed club but, as in the video, a perfect track for a quiet afternoon shift. The video stars a very capable pole dancer, employs an elegant one-shot format, and has a subdued mood. It’s more Exotica than Showgirls. Its events threatened to upset me, but the story has a satisfyingly dark conclusion. I reached out to director Michael Lawrence to ask him about his process. Watch the video and read our Q&A below. [READ MORE]

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Image via Exotic Mag

Image via Exotic Mag

Portland, OR, frequently cited as the U.S. city with the most strip clubs per capita, and an annual vagina beauty pageant, crowns a Miss Exotic Oregon each year. Local strip club ad rag Exotic (which also publishes a column by Tits and Sass Portland correspondent Elle) hosts the competition, a fine celebration of the strong theatrical elements of Portland stripping. In a town where stage performances are still strongly appreciated, dancers don’t hesitate to augment their pole skills and acrobatics with detailed costuming, stage sets, and choreography.

Sometimes one of them goes even further, bringing a level of emotional commitment and thematic strength to her performance that wouldn’t look out of place at Miss Exotic World. Thanks to my fellow Tits and Sass contributor Kat, I’ve been watching this video in amazement all morning. This is Jordan, who represented downtown’s Golden Dragon at this year’s competition, and her performance is a ten-minute-long tribute to Alanis Morissette. She has two supporting partners in her set, a male dancer playing her lover, and another female dancer he cheats on her with. It’s next-level pageant performance art. [READ MORE]

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