In one sense, I’m an old pro of a ho, as I’ve been escorting for a decade. But in another, I’m actually an innocent, because besides a few shoots for various feminist porn venues in my early twenties, escorting’s the only kind of sex work I’ve ever done. So, now, at the ripe old age of 31—which is an eternity in whore years—I’ve accumulated quite the sex work bucket list. Here are some of the highlights.
1) Hire another sex worker as a client.
I’ve always been curious about what this work looks like from the other side. And I envy my clients even as I pamper them: What would it be like to be the sole focus of sexual attention in a coupling, to be the ultimate pillow queen and not have to feel guilty for it because you’ve paid for the right? I bet I’d be the worst client ever, though—unable to maintain the illusion necessary to enjoy myself because I’m too aware of the emotional labor necessary to create it, no doubt trying to be too chummy with my escort on the basis of our shared experience when all he/she wants is to finish the hour and be done with me. Or, based on that understanding, I’d be so overly, nervously apologetic that my escort would pray to God for me to shut up. Still, even knowing all the ways I could royally fuck up the experience doesn’t detract from the potency of the fantasy. I’d love the ability to say, “Let’s do something else, I’m bored of this now” in the middle of a sex act and have that be my natural right.