Mistress Matisse

Mistress Matisse got into sex work at nineteen, thinking she'd just do it until she decided what she wanted to be when she grew up. When she turned thirty, she realized, "I am grown up, and this is what I want to be!" She writes about sex work, BDSM, polyamory and life as a sexual outlaw. Her columns and articles for the Seattle weekly paper, The Stranger are here, her slow-but-not-dead-yet blog is here, and her very-much-alive twitter feed is here. http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Author?oid=9386 http://mistressmatisse.blogspot.com/ https://twitter.com/mistressmatisse


This isn’t the best way to handle issues with review boards.

Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.

—Oscar Wilde

There is no human experience so intimate and personal that people won’t publicly dissect it. Childbirth. Funerals. Cancer treatments. And sex. I agree with much of what has already been said here on T&S about the problems inherent to some sex work review boards. The whole concept of reviewing an erotic encounter that one was a participant in is an odd idea; it’s like having like a theater critic be in the cast of the play. How can one ignore the fact that the critic played some part in how the show turned out? But, especially with experiences that touch on primal emotions, people search for ways to bring some intellectual analysis to what they are feeling—with mixed degrees of success. Some sex worker reviews are truthful, insightful, and useful: others are more like naked bathroom selfies of the reviewer, with all the perils inherent to that art.

I’ve been reviewed, as an escort and as a pro domme, on both escort boards and sites specifically about professional dominance. Some reviews were positive, some not so much. Of course I prefer the paeans to my beauty and skill—who doesn’t? But I’ve learned to not take any of them too seriously, because I got toughened up in an equally merciless school: reviews and comments on my writing. [READ MORE]